Page 46 of Forget Me Not

Logan places her hand on top of mine which is still resting on her thigh, trying to calm me down from getting pissed at my best friend.

“Oh, fuck off, it’s nothing like that. Demi’s cool. We’re friends. I wasn’t vibing with anyone at the bar and I got bored so I texted her to come hang.” I stay quiet, mulling over his words. “Kade, trust me,” he adds.

“I do,” I finally say. Demi lets out a breath that it seems like she’s been holding for the entire conversation while Asher smiles cheekily at me before taking a swig of his drink.

“Alright, Ash, come buy me a ginger ale.” Logan stands from the table, pulling Asher up by his arm.

“I still can’t believe you’re drinking that shit at a bar. You’re ruining my reputation here,” Asher whines as Lo pulls him toward the bar, leaving me alone with Demi.

The silence rings loud between the two of us. I’ve seen Demi less than a handful of times since she cooked dinner for us. Demi is a good person, and it took me too long to realize that. I’ve put more effort into getting to know my little sister in the past few months than I have my entire life, but even I can admit it’s still not enough. We’re friendly with each other, but there are still walls up on both of our parts. Neither of us is willing to talk about the elephant in the room, which is her father. I say her father because he never cared to live up to that title for me.

“How have you been?” I ask her. She lifts the beer bottle set up on the table in front of her, taking a swig of it before setting it back down.

“I’ve been okay. How about you?” She runs the tip of her finger around the rim of her bottle, focusing on the motion rather than looking up at me.

“I’ve been good.” I pause, trying to gauge whether she is distracted or pissed at me. “I’m sorry I haven’t seen you much in the past few weeks. Life has been busy, you know?”

“I know that, Kaden. My life is always busy, yet I still found time to practically stalk you since I found out you existed, begging you to let me into your life. I thought we were finally getting somewhere, and then you met Lo. Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond happy for the both of you, but I mean, really, Kade? I’ve talked to Asher more in the past few weeks than I’ve ever talked to you.”

“Logan is your best friend, and I’ve been doing everything in my power to make her happy, which is something you should be happy and supportive about. I’m sorry I haven’t had as much time to spend with you, but the jealousy is a little childish, Demi. And I still don’t understand why the fuck you’ve been talking to Asher so much.”

“Fuck off, Kaden. Asher and I are just friends. He’s been there to listen to me when nobody else has. He’s asked me aboutmyself, my life, anything besides the stupid small talk you and I always seem to end up making. All I’ve ever wanted was to know you, my older brother. Not the surface-level douche who’s sitting in front of me. And how fucking dare you say I’m jealous of your happiness. Logan is my best friend, and all I want for her is to be happy. You’re my brother. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. You both deserve the type of happiness that you seem to find with each other. I would never not support you both. But I still exist, Kaden. Which is something that you seem to have forgotten.”

Her words light a fire in me. Anger courses through my veins. Realistically, I know that everything bad that’s happened in my life is not Demi’s fault. She was a child. She had no say, same as me. But the spiteful part of me still places blame on her. Maybe it’s simply because she’s the one here.

I raised myself while taking care of my mother. I had a father who beat her for being sick, then found a new perfect woman to knock up and go play happy family with when he was through. I watched the life leave my mother’s eyes with every day he was gone, I watched her give up, I watched her find drugs, and I found her after she was gone.

Demi had a stable family. Two parents who loved her. A dad who taught her how to ride a bike and then later drive a car. A mom who baked cookies for the school bake sale. A family who celebrated holidays together, who was there smiling and clapping for her at her high school graduation. My mom was too high to bother showing up to anything for me. And my asshole sperm donor, well, he was with her.

“I haven’t fucking forgotten about you, Demi. How could I ever forget about you? Like you said, you’ve stalked me for fucking years. I did everything in my power to be kind to you, civil. I never wanted a relationship with you. I never wanted a relationship with daddy dearest’s golden child. You haveeverything you could possibly want. Why the fuck you would want a relationship with the kid your father left is beyond me. But you pushed and fucking pushed. And I gave in. I’m fucking trying, Demi, but sometimes it’s hard to even look at you because all I see is him.”

“And what the fuck do you think I see when I look at you?” Demi’s voice is loud, gaining the attention of the people surrounding us. Tears fill her eyes as they meet mine dead on. The same eyes as mine. The same eyes as him. I know I look like the piece of shit, too. It pisses me off every time I look in the mirror. But I’ve never thought that would be a problem for her.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Asher says sternly from where he now stands with Lo at the end of the table.

I don’t know how much they heard, but Logan looks concerned, and Asher just looks pissed. He rests a hand on Demi’s arm, comforting her. It should piss me off that he’s earned the right to comfort her sometime in the past few weeks, but as I process her words, the guilt that there’s a possibility I was wrong about her perfect life sets in. I’m her big brother. I should be comforting her and protecting her from assholes, not being the one to make her cry. Right now, I’m thankful to Asher for stepping up and being who I cannot.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Demi?” I ask, my voice low, trying to stay calm instead of letting the anger consume me. I watch as she swallows back her tears, quickly wiping away the single stray that drips down her cheek. I look over to Asher, whose jaw shifts back and forth. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him this pissed.

“Nothing, Kaden. Just nothing.” She stares at me for a long moment before turning to Logan. “Drive me home, please?”

“Of course, let’s go.” Logan doesn’t hesitate, turning to follow her to the door. Demi doesn’t spare me another look, practicallysprinting to get out of the place while Asher stares at me, exuding nothing but anger.

It’s when Logan subtly turns around just before following Demi out the door, disappointment covering her face, that I know just how badly I’ve fucked up. The shame sets in and I know that I never want to see that look on her face again, let alone be the cause of it. The sad part is, I know I will.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-FIVE

Logan

“Do you want to talk about it?” Demi slams the door to the apartment closed after I follow in behind her. She ignores me, walking straight toward the kitchen. I follow her, curious as to what the hell she’s doing.

She moves frantically around the kitchen. Moving from cabinet to cabinet, grabbing bowls, utensils, and ingredients from each. She pauses for a second to flip her head upside down, gathering her hair together and then wrapping it into a messy bun on the top of her head. She then moves on to the pantry and refrigerator, grabbing ingredient after ingredient so quickly I’m not sure she even knows what she’s grabbing.

“Dem, what are we doing here?” I ask hesitantly. She doesn’t acknowledge me yet again. She moves over to the counter to look over the ingredients she’s now laid out. She starts mumbling something to herself, but it’s too quiet for me to make out the words. “Demi,” I say louder, finally gaining her attention.

“What?” she asks, looking completely frazzled. “Oh. We’re baking. Cupcakes,” she says as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. I stare at her for a second before nodding.

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