Page 59 of Forget Me Not

“No more than two visitors at a time right now while she’s recovering.” He nods to me before leaving the room, giving me the privacy to sit with her.

I stare at her, lying so still, too still, in the hospital bed. She looks so small and fragile, hooked up to so many machines. The steady sound of her heart monitor beeps in the background, and it gives me comfort. The beeping lets me know her heart is still beating. Letting me know that she’s alive.

All of this is my fault. No, I didn’t hit her with the car, but how she ended up there leads back to me. I should’ve told her sooner. I should’ve explained it all to her the second I started having real feelings for her. But that was before I even knew who she was, if I’m being honest with myself. I had so many different opportunities to tell her, but I avoided it every time. Then she had to find out from the messages instead of from me. All I could offer was a rushed explanation after being caught lying to her.

It’s my fault she was running out of the building, it’s my fault she was distracted, and it’s my fault she’s here now. I sit in the chair, gathering my thoughts and attempting to pull myself together for what seems like a long time, but it is only a few minutes. Time feels like it’s passing slower as I wait for her to open those beautiful green eyes and show me that she’s okay.

I walk back out to the lobby, knowing it will still be a little while before she wakes up. I relay everything the doctor told me to everyone who’s been waiting and then Gabby re-explains it better than I could. After filling everyone in, I head back to her room, bringing Demi with me.

I let her sit in the chair next to her bed while I stand with my back pressed against the window. We stay silent, only the sounds of the beeping monitors filling the empty space as we wait. I pace to keep myself busy. Demi doesn’t move, sitting still in the chair, her eyes moving back and forth between Lo and the monitors. Theo and Gabby sneak into the room, even though they’d said only two visitors. I’m sure they could get in trouble for being in here, but neither of them seems to care. I’m standing against the wall, my head in my hands, when I finally look up to see her eyes opening.

“I’m going to grab her nurse,” Gabby says, exiting the room. Lo looks around sluggishly as she processes her surroundings. Gabby is back in less than a minute, a nurse by her side toextubate Lo. The nurse removes the tube from her throat, and Lo coughs, wincing as she does.

“Do you know where you are? Do you remember what happened? How are you feeling?” Theo steps up to her as the nurse moves out of the way. Lo slowly moves her head toward him.

“Hospital. Hit by a car. In pain, your voice isn’t helping,” she whispers back to him, her voice scratchy. He smiles and Demi chokes out a loud sob, grabbing Lo’s attention.

“No crying. I’m okay, Dem.”

“You fucking bitch. You scared the shit out of me. I forbid you from ever putting me through this again.” Demi smiles at her through her tears.

“I’m sorry for putting you through so much.” She pauses, swallowing to try to ease her throat before speaking again. “I’ll make sure to take that into consideration before ever getting hurt again.” She half smiles at her, although she looks like she’s in pain. Her eyes look past Demi and finally land on me.

“Baby girl…” The words trail off, at a loss of what to even say to her. Nothing I ever say could possibly be enough right now.

“No,” she says, her voice itself weak but the word firm. “Not now, Kaden. Leave.”

“Please, Lo. Just don’t make me leave, not like this.”

“I can’t have you here right now. I just need…” She trails off. “Just, please go.” Her voice sounds broken, the fight having been fully knocked out of her. I’m the one that broke her. She gave me her heart, trusting me to protect it, only for me to be the one to smash it to pieces. Crushing my own heart right along with it.

“Out, Kaden. Now.” Demi doesn’t hesitate, turning to me and demanding I leave. It makes me feel good to know that Demi has her back without even knowing what I did.

“I love you, Logan,” I say as I force myself to take the steps toward the door. I hesitate as the sliding glass door opens infront of me. My feet feel cemented into the ground, not wanting to leave her side even for a second.

“Out,” Demi says again, her tone leaving no room for argument. I step out of the room and the door slides shut behind me.

I force myself to walk away, walking to the nearest hallway wall and slumping down against it. I sit there, my back against the wall, my elbows resting on my knees in front of me, and my head in my hands. My life has never been easy by any account. I’ve dealt with the hard things, and I thought I’d been through the worst.

I was wrong. This moment right here is the worst. The woman I love lying in a hospital bed, bruised and broken. Me being forced to walk away from her at a time I should be there for her the most. Never in my life have I felt more helpless than I do right now. I have no fucking clue how to fix it. All I do know is that I have to. I will.

CHAPTER

THIRTY-THREE

Logan

I love the hospital. Most of the time, it’s one of my favorite places to be. It’s where I get to help patients and save lives. It’s where I feel like I’m doing the most good. Right now, though, I’d rather be anywhere else than here. Except maybe with him. Although even after everything, I know that’s a lie.

Being a patient sucks. I’ve never been good at sitting back and trusting others. I’ve never been good at handing over control. I’ve only been here for two and a half days, and I feel like I’m going out of my mind. Most of my injuries were pretty cut and dry and will just require time for recovery. The only reason I’m still here is because of the concussion and my blood loss. They wanted to keep me for observation a little longer.

I chose emergency medicine for many reasons, but the fact that I’m not a fan of sitting still in one place for too long definitely plays a part in it. I like to be moving or feel useful. I do not like to be stuck lying in a hospital bed, barely moving at all. I’ve watched two seasons of a new reality dating show since I’ve been here. I should not have that type of time on my hands to do that. Thankfully, I get to go home tomorrow.

Although, what I really want is to hurry up and heal so I can get back to work. If I’ve learned anything since this accident, it’s to always look both ways before crossing any sort of road or parking lot and that I very much prefer being the doctor over the patient. Also, I suck at being the patient. But that’s neither here nor there.

My mom showed up sometime in the middle of the night on my first night here. She cried at my bedside for a whole two hours while I consoled her. The lecture came after she calmed down. How could I not have been looking where I was going? Was I on drugs? Did we need to sue anyone? Her thoughts were chaotic to say the least. Lucky for me, my ridiculous best friend was there to egg her on every step of the way.

I know Demi was scared when she called her. She did what any best friend would do and called my family when I was hurt. But I wish I’d never had to worry my mom with this. Yes, she can make me crazy at times to the point where I want to slap her. But she’s already lost one daughter. I wish I could have saved her the fear of getting on a plane and flying here thinking she may lose another one. But that’s what she did. My mom has shown up for me since the day she found out she was pregnant, and she never won’t. That’s at least something I can always count on.

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