Page 68 of Forget Me Not

I was able to get a few days off from work, and we flew in yesterday. My mom sold our old house about a year ago and now lives in a townhouse with her boyfriend, Daniel, whom she’s been with for a little over a year. He’s a good man, from what I can tell.

We had dinner with the two of them last night and I can’t remember the last time I saw my mom that happy. We ate, and we talked, and we laughed. I thought being here would only cause me pain. Instead, it reminds me of the happy memoriesbefore everything went to shit. Florida may have been home to some of the worst moments of my life, but it was also home to many of the best.

At the end of the night, my mother offered Kade and me their spare room, but we opted for a hotel nearby. Kade said this was still a vacation and there were things he wanted to do with me that he definitely couldn’t do under the same roof as my mother. I made no objections at all.

I woke up this morning expecting to feel the reminder of the day, and in a way, I do, but it’s not debilitating in the way I thought it would be. It rained all night, but this morning the sun shines bright. I knew where I needed to go today. I got ready, threw on a yellow sundress and white Converse, and woke up Kade, who insisted on coming with me.

Now here I am. Kade stands a couple feet behind me, giving me my space but never going too far. I made him stop at the drugstore on the way here so I could get flowers. Pink roses were always her favorite. I lay them across the grass in front of the stone, adding color to the otherwise depressing place.

“I’m not sure how to do this.” I laugh nervously. I’m sure Kade can hear me, but he stays silent, knowing I’m not talking to him. “I don’t know if I believe you can hear me right now. I’m not sure what to say, even if you can. I could fill you in on everything you’ve missed, but I like to think you already know. That you’ve been watching. I like to think you’re with Emersyn, and you’re not in pain anymore. You’re just happy.”

I pick at the flowers in front of me. I pull off a petal, rubbing it between my fingers as I try to articulate my feelings. “I hate that you couldn’t find a way to be happy here, with me. I’m still angry with you, I don’t know that I ever won’t be. I also just miss you. I don’t think that will ever change either. I’ve realized I can miss you and be happy now at the same time, though. I’m really happy now, Len. I guess that’s partly because of you.” I turn tolook at Kade, who still stands behind me, an encouraging smile on his face.

“I love you, Len. Always.” I stand up, brushing the grass off my knees. I close my eyes and lift my head to the clear blue sky. I let the warmth of the sun soak into my skin, and I smile. Goose bumps rise over my arms and for a second, it feels like she’s smiling right back down at me.

“I’m ready.” I turn to Kade and walk over to where he’s standing.

“Give me a minute, okay?” he asks, walking over to stand in front of Lennox’s headstone.

“Okay.” I smile at him. “I’ll meet you in the car.”

He nods at me, and I turn my back and start walking away. I’m probably about ten feet away when I hear his voice, and it stops me in my tracks.

“I just wanted to say thank you,” he says.

I slightly turn around to see his back toward me. He’s talking low, so I can just barely make out what he’s saying. “Thank you for giving me the best thing in my life. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you and look for her sooner. I just want you to know that you were right to send us to each other, and I promise I’m going to take care of her and love her infinitely.”

I smile at his words, my heart full of all the love he’s constantly making me feel. I turn my back and walk to the car. I heard everything I needed to. I lean against the car for a few more minutes before he joins me.

“Everything good?” he asks me, coming to stand in front of me.

“Perfect.” I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips against his lightly. I pull back and smile up at him.

“Yeah, it is.” He smiles back at me. “Come on. I have somewhere I want to take you.” He walks around to thepassenger side of the car, opening the door for me and closing me in before getting in himself.

“Where could you possibly have to take me? I’m the one who used to live here. Have you ever even been here before? Do you know where you’re going?” I fire off the questions one by one.

“Just trust me, okay?” He laughs at me.

“I do.” I sit back in my seat, easily agreeing to what once would’ve been the most difficult decision for me.

He drives past my old neighborhood, and I sit up straighter, paying attention to where we’re going. He keeps going until he pulls into the parking lot for a nature preserve that I recognize. It’s part of the same trail that connects to my house, and suddenly, I know where he’s taking me.

“How did you know where it was?” I ask, knowing he’s taking me to the gazebo. I’d told him about it in passing, but I never realized he paid such close attention.

“Well, you described the area to me, and when you fell asleep yesterday, I snuck out and went looking.” He says it so casually, as if it isn’t a huge deal. Maybe to him, it isn’t, but to me, it’s everything. That he listened to how much this place meant to her, and in turn, to me. That he made it his mission to bring me back here.

He gets out of the car and comes around my side to open my door. I get out and he closes it behind me. He takes my hand in his and I follow his lead. We walk on the path surrounded by nature, and then he cuts right through the small opening that leads to the gazebo. We walk through the trees into the open space, and the gazebo comes into view, but it’s not how I remember it.

It’s the same white worn-down gazebo, the paint chipped and the wood splintering so much I’m surprised it’s still standing. But now wrapped around each wooden beam are flowers. Not just any flowers, Forget-me-nots. There are also two rows ofthem on the ground, leading a pathway from where we stand to the gazebo.

“How?” I look up to Kade with tears in my eyes. My heart feels like it’s about to implode from how beautiful it all is, from how beautiful he is.

“I have my ways.” He smiles down at me, wiping a fallen tear. “Come on, beautiful girl.” He leads me into the center of the gazebo. I follow him, my eyes drifting around in awe of what he’s done.

“I know this place is special to you. It was hers, and then it was yours, and now I’m hoping it can be ours,” he says, and I turn my attention to look up at him.

“Today is the day that took so much from you. It’s a day that caused so much pain and darkness for you and so many others. It’s a day that’s left you with nothing but bad memories. I don’t expect to ever erase those or the past, but I thought we could also make it a day to celebrate our future. We can create goodness, happiness, and love on a day that stole those things from you. Something good can come out of all of the bad.”

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