Page 58 of Where Love Lies

He scratches at his beard, looking away. “Yeah. A family neighborhood, kids to play with, good school. I’d do anything for Nalini. Give her the best life I can,” he continues.

“That’s a really pretty name,” I nearly-whisper. Silence falls between us, placing that awkward weight on my shoulders, so I say what I’m thinking, “I came looking for something better. The neighbors, the schools, the image of being a mother who carpools and bakes, but…I’m just not that person. I hate it.”

“You don’t want to be that person; those people are not as happy as they come off. Just be you, Rain.”

Inhaling a breath, I lick my bottom lip. It’s salty from my tears spilling onto them and drying from this damn heat.

Leaning my head back against the walkway, I mutter, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

“Mom?” Paige’s voice has me snapping straight up and looking down the doorway. Her hair is down, not in her usual braids, and she’s wearing a baggy shirt that I presume is her dad’s because I’ve never seen it before, falling to her thighs.

“Right here, babe.”

Her feet hit the patio, and she stops, her eyes wide, looking at the mess I made of our flowers.

“Whoa.”

“Yeah...about that. I was thinking we should get black flowers. What do you think?” My voice wavers, and I have to catch myself.

“But Heston…he likes—”

“I don’t care what Heston wants. This is my house and we want black.”

She crosses her arms, a little smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. “I like it.” She laughs.

“Plus, it’ll take our minds off things.”

“Let me go get my sandals.” She looks to Rhodes one last time before going inside.

He stands and holds his hand out to help me up. I place mine into his much larger one, the pads of my fingers sliding over his calloused palms. A stark contrast to Heston’s smaller, softer hands. He pulls me up in one tug, and I brush off my bottom and hands, trying to avoid eye contact. Now that I’m calmer, I can only imagine the medusa hysterics from moments ago. Embarrassing.

“Well, I’m going to let you ladies get to picking flowers. If you need anything, Rain, let me know.” The sincerity in his deep voice has my breath hitching. I nod, my eyes snapping to his when the tips of his fingers graze the underside of my chin. His eyes, the color of moss after it rains, captivate me.

“I’m serious. If you need anything, no matter what it is, come get me.” With affection in his voice and his stare holding, he leads me to believe he’s being more than just a nice neighbor. Grasping his wrist, I pull his hand off my face and against my chest, causing my heart to quicken.

“I promise.”

Dropping his hand by his side, he takes a step back, stares at me a second longer, then turns to head back to his place.

“Mom, I’m ready.” I look to Paige, black slides now on her feet.

“Great. Let’s go.” I force a smile—something I’ve been doing a lot lately.

I’ve been trying to act like I have the perfect life, keeping secrets and telling everyone I’m okay when I’m really not. I’ve been trying to cover the cracks in my life rather than stop and face them head on because I was afraid of not having the perfect family. But it just got worse, the breaks got deeper, and it began to get harder to cover up. If I faced my problems head on, I bet I wouldn’t be so broken.

30

On our way to Olive’s Flower Shop, I text a locksmith to change the locks while I’m out. Heston is not coming back into my house. He and I burned from both ends of a candle stick, fast and hot, until our wick went cold. Jesus, he’s starting to sound like a rebound but from who? Cam? My mother’s death?

I pull onto the small gravel driveway in front of the shop. It looks the same as last time. A cute little brick shop with flowers of every kind.

“This is where you got the flowers?” Paige asks, skeptically. She’s used to shopping in the city.

“Yeah. It’s cute, isn’t it?”

She gives me a forlorn look before opening her door and getting out. Meeting her around the side, we walk down a narrow path, rows of pots held up by railroad ties and cylinder bricks greeting us.

“Hey, you’re back!” Olive says with a smile, a bottle of pink solution in her hand. Her hair is wispy and sweaty from working outside and she’s wearing a garden apron with dirt rubbed all over the front, but what really stands out are those damn yellow boots.

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