Page 65 of Bound By Her Shocking Secret

‘The Devilliers chateau.’

Where Delphine had died. Where he’d grown up.

His words came back to her:‘My background broke me’.

Mia said nothing as they made their winding way up a seemingly endless drive. And then suddenly the chateau appeared around a bend. Mia sucked in a breath. This was not your quintessential pretty French chateau. This was something out of a gothic nightmare. Forbidding grey stone. Spiky ramparts. Small windows. It looked cold and oppressive.

Daniel parked in the front courtyard and got out, opening Mia’s door and helping her out too. She didn’t want to let go of his hand but had to. She was here to break with him, not cling to him.

He went up the steps and the door opened as he approached. A dour-looking man said, ‘Welcome, Mr Devilliers, we weren’t expecting you.’

‘No,’ he said, sounding grim. ‘It’s fine, we won’t be here long.’

Mia smiled at the older man, but he stared at her as if she was a ghost. She really didn’t like this place. It was as cold and forbidding inside as out.

The man walked away, and Daniel waited till he was gone. Then he looked at Mia. ‘I really would prefer if you hadn’t had to see this place, but it’s the only way I know how to show you...’

Show me what?she wanted to ask.

But instead she just let him lead her from room to room. He pointed out Delphine’s room, untouched from the day she’d died. Mia’s heart broke to see the toys and books.

Daniel told Mia about the day he’d found himself alone, with no idea where everyone was. Ice crept into her blood at the thought of him as a small boy, grief-struck, alone in this inhospitable place.

And eventually he took her outside to the back, where the manicured gardens looked frozen in time. The sun was shining but she still felt cold.

Daniel led her around the side of the chateau, to an area of ground that looked slightly different from the rest. She recognised the shape.

‘This was the pool, wasn’t it?’

Daniel nodded.

‘You had it filled in?’

‘My mother did.’

‘Oh, Daniel...’ Mia couldn’t stop the emotion.

He didn’t look at her as he said, ‘I know rationally that it wasn’t my fault she died. As you pointed out, I was only nine. But it’s embedded on my soul in a way I can’t seem to erase. I loved Delphine so much...she was the only joy in my life, and me in hers. I probably would have survived this place quite well if she had lived. Our parents’ neglect made us even closer. But when she died, I felt that somehow I’d caused it by needing her too much. That I didn’t deserve to have her in my life. Then my mother’s reaction...my father’s lack of emotion...compounded my guilt.’

He turned to her then. He looked so tortured that Mia’s heart broke all over again.

‘But I know that I have to let it go, or I’ll never be free to trust that something good can come of needing you and Lexi in my life. To trust that needing you won’t somehow...destroy you. I didn’t want to bring you here to tell you all of this,’ he continued, ‘but I had to. Because it’s the only way I know to show you what’s in here...’ he put a hand over his heart ‘...and to try and tell you how you make me feel.’

Mia took Daniel’s hands, her heart speeding up a little. ‘HowdoI make you feel?’

‘When I saw you walk out of the party yesterday evening I couldn’t concentrate. I had to find you. The thought of you and Lexi...going...of not seeing you every day...of not having you in my bed, in my life...it makes my chest physically hurt. I feel like I can’t breathe.’

He said, ‘I know now that’s love, Mia. I love you and Lexi. I loved you from the minute I saw you, but I had no capacity to recognise it. When you said you were pregnant... I felt sheer terror. The thought of bringing a child into the world, when all I knew was abandonment and the pain of grief... I didn’t see how I wouldn’t pass that on. That’s why I said what I said that day.’

Mia kept silent. Letting him find his words.

‘But then you came back...with Lexi...and I couldn’t hide from the demons. I had to let you in. I thought I could do that and somehow stay removed from how you made me feel. The reason I wanted to marry you so quickly was because I knew that if you had time to think about it you’d realise it was too much of a sacrifice. Not because I cared about what people thought. But I’m terrified that loving you will somehow harm you and Lexi.’

He took his hands out of hers. Mia’s heart broke in two. The tone in Daniel’s voice was the opposite of self-pity. He really believed what he’d said. She could see how damaging this place had been.

Mia said, ‘I’m glad you brought me here.’

‘You are?’

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