Page 56 of Knot My MC
“Goodbye,” I whisper, imagining my dad taking off inside that vehicle. Knox wraps his arm around me and I sink into the hold, refusing to cry. I’ve done enough for now.
My skin begins to feel tight from all the sun. With a harsh exhale, I turn and pack up the bottle. The warmth from Knox’s body slowly seeps away and my lips pull down. We take our feet out and let them dry before putting our shoes back on. This morning was nice. They were nice. Then again, they have been ever since we left the auction house.
They haven’t been cruel. They haven’t demanded my heat. They haven’t tried to take what I wasn’t willing to give. They haven’t done any of the things that Axel did. But of course they wouldn’t. Despite how much my chest aches when I think about what happened all those years ago, deep down I know they would never cross those lines. I trust them. They’re safe, and perhaps a little dangerous for my heart.
Or maybe I need to believe what they’ve been trying to tell me. We’re all meant to be together. I’m theirs. The way I reacted this morning at the sight of other women around them is proof that in my head, they’re mine.
Give them hell, Kiki.I have given them a little bit of hell. Not as much as Dad would have wanted, but I’m tired of being hard. I’m tired of being so controlled. I’m tired of pretending I don’t care. It only makes me look stupid when my scent reeks of desire and want. If my heat is almost here, I don’t want things to get worse between us. We need to settle the past here and now. I don’t want to play games. I just want the truth.
“Do you guys mean it?” The three of them shift their attention to me. I clench my fingers into fists. “Am I really yours?”
Jag chuckles under his breath. “I think it’s more accurate to say that we’re yours, Kiks.”
“How can you be sure?”
“We’ve been sure since the night you told us off at that party.” Knox smiles a little. “We were all so young, but it’s always been you.”
“I still have dreams about you,” Crow confesses. “It’s the same one every time. I’m waiting for you to show up and I hear your footsteps. My heart pounds, and I wait for you to open the door, but you never do.”
My throat constricts. “I want to trust you.”
“You can,” Knox says.
“I’m scared.” If we’re doing this, I have to be honest too. “All I wanted was you and when you guys never came back to explain… when you left… it fucked with my head. I thought maybe I imagined the tension between us. I thought I was a lovestruck little girl.”
“We should have tried to get a message to you.” Jag runs his hand through his hair and sighs. “I knew you were mad, but I didn’t realize how much we hurt you. I’m sorry, Kiks.”
“Me too,” Crow and Knox say at the same time.
“We never meant to hurt you.” Knox holds his hand out. “Let us make it up to you?”
My fingers twitch, desperate to agree. My mind is only a few seconds behind my body. I slip my hand in his, and he squeezes it.
“Trying to give me the money back was dumb.” I shake my head. “So stupid.”
He winces. “It was pretty dumb, but I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to give you the freedom to choose, but with how things went down at the auction, I was worried no matter what we did you’d feel forced into it.”
“The auctions were messed up, but I’m glad you came for me.” I shudder thinking about where I might’ve ended up. “The money doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m letting you in because the truth is I’m tired of pretending not to care.”
“Good.” He releases my hand. “All we ever wanted was to take care of you.”
“There’s something else,” I begin, glancing at the water. “I think I’m going into heat. I thought maybe my body was out of whack from everything that’s happened, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be here soon.”
They don’t say anything, so I continue with a grimace.
“Right. So. I’ll need some help with that, but if we’re really doing this, and you’re not lying to me about your intentions, I want it all. No kids though. I’m on birth control. Everything else though? I want that. The claiming. Your knots. Rutting. I want—”
“Fucking hell,” Jag says with a chuckle, adjusting himself. “You’re going to give me the worst case of blue balls.”
I grin a little. “Sorry, but we needed to talk about it. Heats can be unpredictable.”
“We’ll do whatever you want.” Knox holds my gaze. “You set the rules, and none of us wanted kids.”
That’s a relief. “Okay, but is everything else what you want? The claiming is—”
“Everything we’ve ever wanted,” Crow interrupts me. “We want it.” Jag and Knox nod in confirmation.
I blow out a breath. “Okay. Good.” Some of the heaviness leaves my body, their willingness to go all in for the heat means a lot to me. I’ll officially be theirs once they claim me. The seventeen-year-old inside of me is squealing with delight. I bite my cheek to hold in a goofy grin and finish zipping the backpack. Crow hands me the lighter. I tuck it into the front pocket of the bag, keeping the cutter in my short’s pocket. I like having Dad’s things with me.
