Page 17 of Knot My MC
She’s right in front of me.
My fingers tremble, the last ounces of my restraint keeping me from closing the last inch and placing my hand against her shoulder. With a slow inhale, I force my hand back to my side and take another moment to memorize her features.
She’s sleeping hard and a sudden small smile curves her lips.
A sudden vision of Kiki living among the stars, sharing company with the extraordinary, settling in right where she belongs. I turn off the flashlight and slip out of her room, rushing out of the house and sliding into the SUV I drove over. The dome light is hardly adequate but that doesn’t matter.
I grab my pencils and sketchbook, spending the next few hours perfecting my vision, or at least the outline of it. The cramps in my hand are finally bad enough that I stop, dropping the pencil back into the bag and casting my gaze around. The rising sun has turned the horizon blue, a color much like the aquamarine irises that haunt my dreams.
When was the last time she had cookies?
Does she make her own now or does she buy them from the store?
One of my greatest pleasures was taking care of her in a way that meant something to me. A way I was never taken care of. Caring for her helped fill that void inside of me. I still feed the guys, but without her, it isn’t the same. Without her, things aren’t complete.
Without her, I don’t see the point.
I shove that thought away. Knox has a plan. We’re already moving up within the MC. Once we have enough power, once we have enough men to back us up, we’ll take on Axel. Or at least, that’s what we’d like to do, but with Kiren as her father, I don’t know how that’ll play out.
We won’t hurt him. He’s too important to her and we’re not that despicable. Maybe we can tie him up and keep him out of the fight. He’d be safe, and once she’s back in our arms, I don’t see how he’d be able to stop the inevitable.
No one can control the stars.
No one can control Kiki.
But I hope to hell she’ll let us take care of her when the time comes.
I hope she’ll choose us.
Until then, I’ll find a way to bring her to life on paper.
* * *
KNOX
Though they don’t say it to my face, I feel the unspoken resentment from my friends. Even if they hate me for it, they trust my decision and will follow me down this path of self-torture, hoping all the while that I know what I’m doing.
I don’t.
I’m trying. I’m working within my means, finding the best way to make sure we’re never vulnerable like we were that night. Kiki wasn’t our weakness, being less powerful than Axel was. The way his hot, rancid breath coasted across my skin while he threatened to knot her still makes me shake with rage.
He was so sure it would happen, so delighted to hear me growl in protest. I crack my knuckles before pummeling the punching bag a few more times, pushing my muscles to the point of failure. The only way to get better is to go beyond what’s comfortable. My shoulders burn as I try to clench my fingers into fists. They’re too sore. Too battered from repeated abuse.
They hadn’t healed from yesterday’s session, and I’ll have to slather the cracks with healing ointment. With a heavy sigh, I check the time. Half-past eleven. Kiki’s dad usually leaves right around midnight. Sometimes a little later. I take a quick shower and change, slathering myself in scent blocking lotion.
That first night we snuck into Kiki’s house was one of many. What started as an innocent way to feel close to her has turned more of a way for me to torture myself. I love breathing in her scent.
The night is cool and by the time I reach her house, the light to her bedroom is already out. I settle into my usual spot, leaning against a sturdy tree and waiting for Kiren to leave.
Almost like clockwork, Kiren creeps out of the house and hops into a car down the road. I’m more than a little curious as to what he’s up to, but his midnight rendezvous are the reason I’m not losing my mind.
The guys and I trade shifts, but if I don’t get at least two nights a week inside of her house, my skin starts to itch and my mind can’t focus. Logically, at some point it won’t be so easy to visit her. She could take a trip or we could be sent on a weekend job, but that hasn’t happened yet, and I refuse to waste an opportunity to be near her.
A full two minutes pass before I quietly walk-up Kiki’s front steps. I slip in the spare key we’d stolen from the backyard and find my way inside. Kiren’s scent slams into me first, but as I edge deeper into their home, I find what I’m looking for.
Sugar. Vanilla. A touch of cinnamon.
Kiki.
