Page 101 of Heat & Deceit
“You know, I read somewhere that tears are words too painful for a broken heart to speak.” She sighs and nestles closer. Strangely enough, her omega scent doesn’t bother me. “So I say, cry as much as you need too.”
“Okay,” I whisper, letting them fall and simply trying to breathe through it all.
Kiki holds me, her presence a steady reminder of what she’d said.
You’re not alone.
* * *
The guys return while we’re in the bath. Someone had broken in before I got home. They didn’t catch that beta, and my blood chills knowing he was probably inside my apartment. He’s still out there, and he knows where I live. A beta like that, who has his sights set on getting an omega in heat, won’t be deterred by a few bikers. He’ll bide his time and will be back.
“He’s dead if he comes back,” Kiki says. She helps me out and wraps me up in a thick blanket, blow-drying my hair while I sit on the bed and the guys fix the door. She’s so attentive, I keep choking up, but if it bothers her, she doesn’t say. By the time she’s done, guilt gnaws at my insides. I unloaded so much on her.
She climbs off the bed and puts the dryer away.
“I’m really sorry about all that. I ran out of pills and my heat hit and I just... I had a moment.” It was bigger than a moment, but I can’t stomach saying I had a mini-breakdown.
Turning around, she drops her hands on her hips and gives me a stern look. “Don’t start overthinking things. I’m your friend, Nova. You don’t have to apologize for being omega.”
I scrunch my face. “Yeah, but my shit is messy.”
“And?” Kiki arches her eyebrows. “You think I’m going to leave because of it?”
Tucking my bottom lip in, I nod.
She scoffs. “I’m made of sterner stuff, Nova. You remember the first time we met?”
Oh, god. The first time I met Kiki, I was still high. Her guys had gotten me out of a bad situation and had decided the safest place to take me was their apartment, only that was really dumb. Kiki was there, and one thing about omegas is they don’t like other omegas threatening their safety. I was far from a threat, though—that was my rock bottom—and I’m embarrassed she witnessed it.
“Yeah.” I glance at the floor.
“Well, I was ready to throw the guys away if they hurt you. I was so mad at them for bringing an omega home, but once I saw that you were hurting, all I could see was red. At that moment, it didn’t matter that I loved them. If they were responsible for whatever happened to you, they would’ve all been dead. I don’t have many friends, Nova, but you’re one of them, and I’m not about to abandon you. You feel me?”
I lift my gaze to meet hers, blinking back more tears. “Okay.”
She nods. “Good. I’ll send the guys to get some air mattresses.”
“What?”
“Well, we can’t sleep on the floor, and you’re in no condition to ride today.”
“Where am I riding to?”
She hesitates, then gestures toward the corner of the room. A new suitcase is open and waiting for my things. “I thought maybe you’d want to come home. We have plenty of space now that we bought the house.”
Home. The Hell Hounds are Kiki’s home. While her guys take care of me, that club isn’t exactly my home. And the thought of leaving...it makes me sick. Even after everything I went through with the heat, I’ve started to enjoy pieces of my life here. Most of those pieces involve alphas I ran from, but they’re part of that happiness, nonetheless.
And home? What does that even look like for me? Where do I feel at home? It’s not this tiny apartment. It won’t be the Hell Hounds’ clubhouse. I think I know where home is, but I’m scared I’ve ruined everything by hiding the truth for so long.
“I don’t know, Kiki. With that hearing coming up and my job...I don’t want to run away,” I finally say.
“Then, I’ll get you enough heat suppressants that you won’t ever have to go through a heat again.” She walks over and squats in front of me. “I can’t imagine how much that heat sucked.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You’re so strong.”
That’s the exact opposite of how I feel. “Please stop being nice to me.”
She growls. “No.”
“You’re really pushy,” I mutter.
