Page 120 of Heat & Deceit
I glance around, noting a distinct lack of trees near the house and garage. How did it end up here?
“Where did it come from?” Rome asks, voicing my own question.
Javier spins, scowling at the house and shaking his head. “I don’t know. There’s no place it could have been on the house. Maybe the wind?”
It hasn’t been windy. My stomach bottoms out and paranoia takes hold. Maybe someone left it here? The beta’s friends or something, a warning for what’s to come? But how would they know where the guys live? It doesn’t make sense.
My chest tightens, and while I calmed myself earlier, those tumultuous emotions and fear from the assault take root once more. I hear my breaths coming in short, soft pants, but even as I scream at myself to relax, my body won’t listen.
“It’s okay,” Rome murmurs, moving me in front of him and wrapping his arms around me. His scent surrounds me, and I grasp at it, trying to anchor myself with it, but unlike before, it doesn’t work. “We’ll look at the cameras. I’m sure it was the wind.”
We head inside. Javi gets me water, but I can only manage a sip with how hard my hands are shaking. His face lines with worry, and he shares a look with Rome, who stands beside me. They’re probably regretting inviting me to come stay with them. Now they’re seeing the real me. Every alpha wants an omega, and every alpha loves a heat, but this? All this baggage?
Who would want that?
My face burns with shame. I glance around, taking in their grand kitchen. “It’s such a big—”Swallow the pill, you fucking bitch. I clutch my chest and pinch my eyes shut. I cover my face with my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I say, fighting to stop feeling.
Firm hands grip my elbows. “Nova.” Javi’s sharp tone makes me flinch. “Nova,” he says, this time not quite as sharp but still firm. “Look at me.”
My chest shudders as I drop my hands. I peel my eyes open, staring into his emerald irises, tracing the starbursts around his pupils.
“Can we try something?”
“What?”
He studies my face, lips pressing into a thin line. He shoots his gaze to Rome before turning to take me in once more. “It’s called shibari. Have you heard of it?”
I nod, numbly. He wants to tie me up now? Does he get off on the pain? “I’m not really in the mood...”
“It’s not always for that,” he says quickly. “If you’ll let me, I think I can help you through whatever you’re feeling. You can keep your clothes on. I promise to be a gentleman.”
“It might help,” Rome adds. “Giving control to Javi might take your mind off of everything, at least long enough for you to process.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
Relief floods Javi’s face. He grasps my hand and leads me through the mansion and into a small room. I take slow, deep breaths as we walk, grappling for control of my emotions. There are soft, black mats on the floor, the type gyms use, and the walls are painted a dark green, a darker shade of Javi’s eyes. Hanging from hooks along the wall are various ropes, all different colors. Red. Blue. Yellow. Orange. Two shades of purple. Black.
The room itself is so heavily scented with vetiver and leather, it steals my breath for a moment. Then I inhale, breathing in that delicious mixture, muscles relaxing as Rome hugs me from behind again. He breathes with me, chest rising in slow and steady falls, while Javi lights a candle and dims the lights. Near the candle is a floor-length mirror, positioned in a way that I can see my reflection. My gaze collides with Rome’s in the mirror, and he holds my attention, taking another deep breath.
I follow his lead, exhaling when he does. “Thanks,” I murmur.
Rome drops a kiss on my cheek and squeezes me a little tighter. “I’m going to give you and Javi some space. Is that okay with you?”
“Um, sure.” It’s his house—he can do whatever he wants—but I’ll admit, him checking with me before he leaves warms my heart. Not because I want that control, but because tonight, I need the extra care. I need the concern and the worry.
It’s selfish, but I want to be taken care of. I want to be chosen. I want to be the omega these alphas pick. I want to be theirs.
His arms fall away, and I mourn the loss of his hold, but I bite my tongue to keep from begging him to stay. I can’t afford to be so desperate, not with the rest of what’s happened tonight. The door softly closes behind me, and Javi instructs me to sit on the mat. He moves to the wall, running his hands over the ropes before grabbing a light purple one. Turning, he walks toward me, face set in determination.
“Have you ever done something like this before?”
I shake my head.
“Okay.” He blows out a breath. “I’ve only ever practiced on the guys, but the rules and process are the same.”
“Rules?” I swallow.
His smile is kind as he drops to his knees in front of me. “Do you know anything about dom-sub life?”
