Page 118 of Heat & Deceit
I tried to get them to come with me and Kiki, but they refused.
“I need to wash up,” I tell her once we get inside.
“Do you need anything?” She’s already done so much. How is she okay offering more?
“I’m good.” Stripping out of my clothes, I struggle to keep a hold of myself. My limbs shake as I toss the entire outfit into the trash—I’m not wearing it again—and my breath trembles inside my chest as I turn on the shower. The water is scalding, hot enough to burn off the touch of the beta. I close my eyes and tip my head back, wetting my hair. Rough hands grab my mouth, pressing a pill to my lips.
“Swallow it, you dumb bitch.”
My eyes fly open, and I slam my hand against the shower wall, gripping the tile.It’s not real. He’s gone. You’re safe.
The pungent, sour air of the alley sweeps around me.
I shake my head. “It’s not real,” I whisper.
Kiki knocks on the door. “Nova?”
“I’m okay,” I lie. I can’t be that person who constantly needs to be rescued. I can’t let her see me like this again. I won’t. Sucking in a sharp breath, I grab the bottle of shampoo.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m almost done.” With shaking hands, I squeeze out a quarter size glob of shampoo. I count my breaths. I scrub my hands together seven times before placing them on my head. I run my fingers through my hair, scraping my nails across my scalp, counting each movement. Shuddering, I tip my head back to rinse my hair, keeping my eyes open despite the sting of splashing water.
The steam from the shower hugs the ceiling. I focus on it as I scrub my skin over and over, desperately trying to erase not only tonight, but years of hands I didn’t consent to.
No matter how hard I scrub, my skin still crawls, almost as though I can feel every touch.
Fuck that beta.
Fuck Curtis and Shelly.
FUCK THEM ALL.
I grind my jaw, wrench the faucet off, grab a towel, and dry off with jerky, furious movements. Kiki’s gone back to the living room, and I can see her watching me over the little half wall that separates my bedroom from the rest of the studio. I tug on my softest pair of pajama pants and an oversized sweater I bought for myself, twisting my wet hair and clipping it up, not bothering to dry it.
Standing in front of my floor-length mirror, I stare at my reflection. My mascara is a mess. I scowl at myself.
“They’re back,” Kiki murmurs right as the door bursts open.
I spin, heart jumping into my throat. Javier stalks through first, aiming straight for me with hard stomps on the floor. Fury clouds his aura. My heart slams against my ribcage, body reacting from years of living in fear. I take a step back and he slows. His eyebrows pinch together, and he stops, shaking his head.
“Mentirosa,” he rasps, holding out a hand.
I stare at it, battling my mind, doing everything I can to convince myself that he’s not the enemy. “Javi,” I whisper, finally winning the fight.
We move at the same time. He surges forward, and I race into his arms. As we collide, I greedily breathe in his scent, using it as an anchor. I cling to him, and he walks to the bed, sitting down. I wrap my legs around his waist as his arms wrap around my back, cocooning me. Protecting me.
My heart steadies, falling into the same rhythm as his.
“What does mentirosa mean?” I ask.
“Liar. My beautiful little liar.” He kisses the side of my head, and I tip my head to look up at him. “The only person whose lies I forgive.” His mouth seals over mine, commanding me into submission.
My heart clenches.Oh, Javi.We break apart as the bed dips, and I glance at Lycus and Rome as they join us. My head is still fuzzy, and I’m not ready for the intensity of Lycus yet, so I go to Rome next, crawling into his lap and burying my head in his neck as he whispers words of reassurance. His chest reverberates with soft growls and purrs, but I know he’s not mad at me. I soak up his steady presence, trying to take some of that steadiness and make it my own. My head begins to clear as I rest against him, and eventually, I pull back, giving him a watery smile. He brushes his lips over mine, then bumps his nose with mine and tips his head to the side.
Javier’s moved and Lycus waits, eyes tracking my every movement. I carefully extract myself from Rome’s hold. Before I can even move toward Lycus, he grabs hold of my waist and hauls me to him. My knees crash onto the bed on either side of his hips, and his hands burrow into my hair, holding me tight.
I sigh and hold his gaze.
