Page 148 of Heat & Deceit
“Here goes nothing,” I mumble to myself and climb out of the car.
Twenty minutes and ten dresses later, Moni, the shop owner, and Georgina gasp. They exchange looks, and I furrow my brow, trying to decipher their secret conversation. I haven’t turned around to look in the mirror, but the longer they stare, the less patience I have.
“Is it really that bad?” I spin and stare at the person in the mirror. My hair is a little ruffled from so many wardrobe changes, but the dress...
Honestly, if I saw it on the rack, I wouldn’t pick it. Moni knew what she was doing, though. The deep burgundy fabric is covered with a beaded bodice that flares at the hips. The skirt is just a touch lighter than the top and layered with fabric to accentuate my curves. It’s strapless too, which I was worried about, but somehow, the clasps in the back manage to keep the dress and my boobs contained.
“It’s an A-line. Do you like it?” Moni steps up to me and fluffs the skirt a little. “You look lovely.”
“It’s...Wow.”
She grins at me in the mirror. “And it’s long enough that there’s no need for heels if you’re not comfortable.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m good in heels.” I smile a little at her concern. If only she knew. “This is the one.”
Georgina squeals and claps. “The guys are going to die when they see you.”
“I’ll get it packed up once you change.” Moni pats my arm and moves to the register. Georgina joins her to pay, and while I want to protest, the guys insisted that she’d be offended if I refused to accept this gift. Georgina likes to spoil people.
I look at myself again. Six months ago, my life was so different. Now, here I am in a gown. It’s unreal. I head to the dressing room and get out of the dress on my own, hanging it up and pulling on my clothes. My phone chirps while I’m putting on my shoes. I drop onto the bench and grab the device.
Kiki
The pack made bail two weeks ago.
My stomach drops.
Nova
Who?
Kiki
We don’t know, but the guys are thinking maybe it was family. Look, try not to worry, okay? If they even think about coming near you, we’ll make sure they find their way to an early grave.
I drop the phone and it chirps again. My entire body is too hot and my lungs burn, but I can’t seem to breathe.
Not good enough.
You’re just like a dog.
Slapping my hands to my ears, I curl over and set my head between my legs, trying to shove those nasty voices out of my head, but it doesn’t work. They replay those vile words again and again, breaking down any of my confidence. They bring back a flood of memories from the club. Groping hands. Needles. Heavy bass-filled music. Dampened lights. Too much sickly sweet perfume.
Someone knocks on the fitting room door, and the spell breaks. I suck in a hard breath, resting my hand over my hammering heart. I take another breath, holding it for two seconds before I exhale.
“Nova? Do you need any help?” Georgina asks.
“No,” I yell a little too loud. “I’m okay,” I say.
“Okay. Moni is ready to pack up the dress.”
“Oh, right.” I pinch my eyes shut and rub my temples, taking another breath before grabbing the gown and opening the door enough to shove it through. “I’ll just finish getting ready.” I snap the door closed before Georgina can see what a mess I am.
Turning, I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is messy. My eyes are wide and scared. Under this light, my skin is almost sickly pale. My clothes are...exactly what I deserve. This is the real Nova. My gaze drifts to my arms. You can’t even tell they used to be covered in marks, but I can still feel them. I can still feel the numbness that came after a hit.
What I wouldn’t give for one tiny hit.
Fuck, I need to get out of this shop.
