Page 149 of Heat & Deceit
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I managed to keep my emotions in check while Georgina drove me home. She side-eyed me a few times, but I gave her my best smile and distracted her with questions about the party. By the time she dropped me off, I don’t think she suspected the storm of emotions swirling inside my head.
When the guys arrive home, I’m three batches of cupcakes deep. I’m clenching my jaw so tight, I might’ve cracked a molar. Gripping the spatula, I stir the freshly combined batter, working out all the chunks.
Rome finds me first. I avoid his gaze and start to portion out the batter into the cups. Javi stops at the edge of the counter and says my name. I shake my head and continue filling the pan. Ly appears too, standing next to his pack mates. He reaches for a cupcake.
“No,” I shout, dropping the bowl and lunging for him, smacking the pastry out of his hand.
“Whoa, Rain. What’s going on?”
“Georgina said she was acting funny when they left the shop,” Javi murmurs.
I pick up the cupcake and put it back in its rightful place before scowling at each pastry on the counter, counting them. One. I’m pathetic. Two. So weak. Three. Not good enough. Four. Who do I think I am? Five. I’m not worthy.
“Nova?” Javi leans on the counter and tries to catch my gaze.
Snapping my eyes shut, I whisper, “Can you leave?”
“No,” Rome says.
“Please?” Tears pool behind my eyelids. “You can’t be here for this.”
“We’re not leaving,” Ly says, stubborn as ever.
They’re too nice. Too good. Too perfect. Too everything I’ll never be. These fucking cravings. That fucking pack. That stupid club.
Go ahead, grab a handful. She likes it. Don’t you, Nova?
Not good enough.
Sit still, or I’ll jab this needle into your eye.
Filthy whore.
Low-pack slut.
Dog.
I growl like the beast I am and snap my eyes open, slamming my fist down onto the cupcakes. I smash cupcake after cupcake. Crush them beneath my fists like I wish I could crush everyone who’s ever touched me. A sob bubbles past my lips, and I begin to lose momentum. Hands covered in moist cake, I hang my head.
“This is who I am,” I say after taking a deep breath. “This is who you picked for a mate. A recovering junkie who can’t kick her cravings.” I look up at them through watery eyes. Their house is so nice. They’re billionaires. Who the hell am I? “I don’t belong here.”
“Liar,” Javi murmurs.
“Please don’t act like this is fine. It’s not okay!” I swing my hand around, and cake flies off of it. “This is me. You deserve more. You need someone—”
“Stop talking!” Ly commands.
My mouth snaps closed at his alpha bark, and shame simmers in my gut. This is it. The moment when they decide I’m not worth the trouble and they reject me. I don’t think I’ll survive this rejection. Not when my heart is so clearly theirs. Tears slip down my cheeks.
Ly rounds the counter, smashing random bits of cupcake with his shoes. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing in front of me. His hands cup either side of my face, and I flinch despite myself. Those gorgeous brown irises are a riot of emotions. “You are worthy. You are not broken. You. Are. Ours.”
My lips are still sealed shut, but even if I could respond, I don’t know what I’d say.
“You think this is going to scare us away?” He scoffs and leans toward me, scowling. “I’ve got news for you, Rain. We’re not afraid of Betty Crocker,” he whispers.
A sob shudders through me.
