Page 68 of Heat & Deceit
“You like him,” I say in a soft challenge.
“No,” Javier says. My chest tightens, and a strange urge to defend Lycus overcomes me until he continues. “I love Ly. He’s the brother I never had, and he’s been by my side through my darker years.”
“Darker years?” I ask then shake my head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Family things.” Javier slides his gaze to meet mine. “Do you get along with your parents?”
I shrug, keeping my answer vague. “I think it’s like most people. Sometimes, we get along. Sometimes, we don’t.” I never knew my mom, and my dads were never around. When they were, well, let’s just say, some people shouldn’t have kids, especially when they can’t stand the sight of them. Kody is the only reason I have good memories from my childhood. I fiddle with my necklace and chew on my cheek, trying not to dwell in that grief.
He nods. “Well, take the worst argument you’ve ever had with your parents and multiply that by fifty and then another twenty. There’s nothing like letting a clumsy ten-year-old know how much you don’t love him by threatening to kick him out if he doesn’t play the perfect son at a ritzy party. What better way to convince investors to fund their new project than by shoving their family in the investors’ faces? They even forced me to sing in front of everyone, and I’m not a singer. I was their entertainment.”
His laughter is forced. “They’d threatened to kick me out if I didn’t listen, so I sang through the laughter and mocking. Did everything they asked until the party finally ended. I cried myself to sleep that night, and the next morning, my mom promised she’d never threaten me like that again. Shelied.” Glancing back at the road, he clenches his jaw, getting lost in his thoughts. I don’t like the hardness overtaking his features.
No kid should ever have to worry if they’ll have a place to live, much less if their parents love them. No child should ever feel humiliated by their parents, at least, not in that way. No wonder he doesn’t like liars.
“You deserved better,” I say over the music. “That was a horrible thing to do to you.”
He shrugs. “It is what it is. I got used to living with the threats, and when I was old enough to access my trust fund, the guys and I were already a pack, and we made our own fortune.” His lips kick into a smile. “Lycus helped me find investors of our own. He helped me build the wealth you see now from the ground up, and Rome helped me show my parents how much I appreciated their tough love.”
I don’t need to imagine what that entailed. Rome told me what he’d do to someone who mildly pissed him off.
“Where are they now?”
“Living in a one-bedroom apartment. My dads work odd jobs, and my mom works at a diner.” He scowls at the road. “The worst part of it all is I feel guilty.” Taking a turn, he chances a glance in my direction. “Do you think I’m a horrible person now?”
“Bold of you to assume I didn’t already.” I keep my face serious for a few seconds, then sigh. “No, I don’t think you’re a bad person.”
“Rome wanted to stop. He told me we’d gone far enough after taking most of my dad’s investments, but I made him keep going.” He white-knuckles the steering wheel. “I wanted to ruin them. Good people don’t do that.”
“Your bad decisions don’t define you, so long as you evolve.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asks. “And have you?”
“Evolved?”
He nods and turns.
“I think so. My life is a lot different than I ever thought it would be, but that’s for the best.”
“What did you think it would be?” The question is innocent, but the answer is complicated.
Back when I was little, I wanted to be like my brother, Kody. I fantasized about having my own motorcycle. I imagined myself as some badass biker, kind of like how Kiki is now. Then, as I got older, my desires turned away from the MC life and toward my future pack. More than anything, I’d wanted to be cherished. Wanted to find that love my fathers never gave me.
Even still, I want so much more than my old pack gave me. I want love. I want safety. I want to be seen.
Is that too much to hope for?
Sadly, I know that it is.
The car rolls to a stop outside of my apartment complex.
“We’re here.” Javier’s voice is a gentle prod.
Time to go.
“Right. Thanks for the ride.” I undo my seatbelt and flash him a quick smile.
“Of course. Are you all right?”
