Page 37 of My Hottest Obsession

I should have anticipated that he wouldn’t just let me walk away. I’m sure this is a fling, but I guess he’s not ready to let me go yet. Or maybe he’s mad that he wasn’t the one to end things.

“I want you to leave,” I tell him.

My throat burns with unshed tears, and I know that I need to get him out of my apartment in the next five minutes or I’m going to break down in front of him.

“No,” he says stubbornly.

“Goldie, what happened?” He asks, reaching out for me, but I step back.

If he touches me right now, then I’ll break. I’ll let him keep sleeping with me. I’ll turn into my mother and end up begging him for scraps of his attention, scraps of his love.

I can’t have that. I promised myself that I would never be like her.

I try to picture my mom’s crying face after she got dumped as I take another step away from Adrien.

“Nothing’s happened. I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Why not? What’s changed?”

“I just can’t!” I shout. “I can’t.”

He shifts on his feet, and I can tell that he doesn’t know what to make of this or me. He’s not going to let me go easily, and I know him. He’ll be trying to talk about this and win me over at work tomorrow and the day after. He won’t stop.

“I can’t work for you anymore. I quit,” I tell him.

A fresh wave of nausea hits me as I wonder what I’m going to do now. How am I going to pay my bills? I’m acting rashly, something I never do, and I hate it.

He’s doing this to me;I remind myself.This has to end.

“Goldie,” he starts, and I push him away, toward the front door.

“You heard me. This is over, and I quit. Now leave.”

“I’m going to fix this. I’m going to win you back,” he vows, and I shake my head.

I shove him again, and a wounded look stretches across his face as I open the door and push him one more time.

“Goldie,” he says, and I shake my head, slamming the door in his face.

I twist the lock and lean back against the door. Tears are already streaming down my face, and I wonder if I started crying before he left or just now.

I stumble my way toward my bedroom, my vision blurry with tears. I hit the doorway, wincing, but the pain is nothing compared to my broken heart.

I look at my diary on my nightstand, but I don’t want to write in it right now.

I fall down on the mattress, wrap my arms around my middle, and cry. I thought that my feelings weren’t that deep, that it was just a crush, but somewhere over the years, I fell in love with him. Maybe I’ve always been in love with him.

Now it’s too late for us.

I cry harder and bury my face into my pillow. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long, hard night.

SIXTEEN

Adrien

I’m notat my best the next morning. I didn’t sleep last night. Instead, I paced around my bedroom, trying not to pull my hair out as I struggled to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong between Goldie and me.

It’s hard to focus with a broken heart. Hell, it’s hard to sleep or eat with one too. I can’t function like this. I need to win her back.

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