Page 40 of My Hottest Obsession

I’ve been lyingin bed all day. I cried myself to sleep last night and woke up with tears on my cheeks. I didn’t even know that you could cry in your sleep, but apparently, it’s possible.

I sigh, grabbing my diary. I’ve been writing in it more than ever these last few days.

Dear Diary,

I triedto find the strength to crawl out of bed this morning, but I just couldn’t. It’s not like I have to do anything. I quit my job after all.

A fresh waveof panic and heartbreak hits me, and I close my eyes, almost dropping the pen.

What amI going to do now?

I should be up and looking for a new job by now. I need to update my resume and pick out a few outfits to wear to interviews. I should be looking over my finances and figuring out a budget, but I just don’t have the energy.

At least I’ll be saving money on things like food now. I’m not hungry, I haven’t been since my girl’s night. I had thought it was just nerves and stress making me lose my appetite, but now I wonder if it was heartbreak the whole time.

I love Adrien. I think maybe I have since I started working for him, maybe from the moment that I first laid eyes on him.

I can’t be with him, though. I can’t be the lovesick girl, chasing after him and begging him to want me, to love me back. I won’t. I will never be like my mother.

Never, Diary.

I heara knock at my front door, but I don’t get out of bed. There’s no one that I want to see or talk to right now. I doodle on the bottom of the page, just random lines and squiggles, trying to clear my head.

The knock sounds again, and I roll over, willing myself to go back to sleep.

“Goldie!” Adrien calls, and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, trying to pretend that I dreamed it.

“Goldie, please!” He calls again, and I tug the blankets up over my head, muffling his voice.

He knocks again, and I grab my headphones and phone. I play soft music, some rain sounds, trying to calm myself down.

I’m not sure when Adrien gives up and leaves. I drifted off to sleep at some point, and when I woke up and took off my headphones, the knocking had stopped.

I need to get it together. I can’t wallow forever. Besides, a shower might help wake me up and pull me out of this funk.

I pull my body from my bed and drag myself into the shower. I’ve been in bed for eighteen hours, and I’m still exhausted, lethargic.

I crank the shower as hot as it will go and strip off my pajamas. I look at my reflection above the mirror and wince. My hair looks like a rat’s nest. It’s matted and tangled around my face and shoulders. The usual wavy locks are in disarray, and I grab a brush, trying to detangle the strands.

By the time I have it back to normal, the bathroom is filled with steam, and I feel a little bit better. More awake, at least.

I step under the spray of water and sigh, closing my eyes as the water runs over my body. The hot water helps to ease the stiffness in my muscles. I wash my hair and soap up my body, and then just stand under the water until it starts to turn cold.

When I step out and wrap a towel around my body, my phone is buzzing on the bathroom counter. Lottie’s name is on the screen, so I hit accept and then put the call on speakerphone.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask her.

“You tell me.”

“What?” I ask as I head back into the bedroom and wrap the towel around my hair.

“Boss Man just called me. Like fifty times,” she saysm and I freeze.

“Adrien called you?”

“Adrien, huh?”

“Shut up. He called you?” I ask again.

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