Page 60 of The Little Black Book

As it stands, I can pack these feelings away and act normal around him until my affection for him fades back into friendship. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? I can totally do that.

Totally.

What other choice do I have? End our relationship, completely? That path may seem easier, but it’s not really feasible. Sam’s best friend and my best friend live together. They’re probably going to get married. There’s no way in hell I’m giving up Sophie, and I can’t see Sam ending his friendship with Jared, so he and I are going to be thrown together. A lot.

“And this is what I was fucking worried about,” I whisper as I pace the length of my living room.

I knew sleeping with Sam was risky. That there was a chance it could screw up our friendship.

Fuck that. I’m not going to lose what we had before we fell into bed together. I’ll pretend as long as it takes––

My phone chimes, cutting off my internal tirade. Pulling the device from my pocket, I freeze, feeling my heart stutter as I read Sam’s name on the screen.

Sam:Hey, are you busy tonight? There’s something I need to talk to you about.

All that fire and self-confidence in my ability to move past my feelings evaporates in an instant. My hands shake as I type out a response, and I have to delete several wrong letters before I get the words right and send the message.

Me:Sorry. Can’t tonight. I have plans.

Sam:Okay. What about tomorrow? It’s really important, Z.

Me:Maybe. I’ll text you and let you know.

As soon as I send the message, I turn off my phone. I’m pretty sure he wants to tell me he’s dating the waitress from the casino, which means we have to end our…whatever it is we’ve been doing. I know I can’t avoid him forever, but I can’t handle it tonight. My emotions are too raw. I need time. I need…

Sugar.

Spinning around, I grab my purse and keys and head out. If there’s one place that never fails to make me feel better, it’sGlaZZed.And even though the kitchen is Zeke’s domain, I do know how to make basic donuts. Working with my hands will help me sort my thoughts. And when I finish, I can eat my feelings like any other respectable, red-blooded woman would do.

I pull into the parking lot atGlaZZedand sit in my car for a few minutes, staring at the blank screen of my phone. My thumb hovers over the power button as I toy with the idea of turning it back on. As much as I don’t want to see a text from Sam breaking things off with me, some dark, masochistic side of me needs to know if he’d actually do that via text message or wait until he could speak to me in person.

It’s going to hurt either way, and I’m not really sure which is worse. A breakup text is the coward’s way out, but having him tell me to my face runs the risk of my having a complete and total breakdown in front of him.

Heaving a sigh, I drop my phone into the cupholder and climb from the car. I’m not going to check it. Tomorrow will be soon enough.

I unlock the shop door and slip inside, quickly shutting off the security alarm before locking back up. Leaving the lights off, I make my way through the dim dining area, behind the counter, and into the kitchen. Flipping on the light, I set my purse and keys on the counter and grab an apron.

Much to my delight, I find a container of prepared dough in the walk-in refrigerator, which means I don’t have to waste time prepping it and letting it rise. I clear my mind and focus on my movements as I roll out the dough. I flip on the fryer to heat the oil, then use a donut cutter to create the perfect circles. By the time I’m done, I have six round donuts and six donut holes ready to fry.

While they are frying, I whip up a rich chocolate glaze on the stove. Lining up the crispy golden donuts on some wax paper, I spoon the glaze over the top and wait a few minutes for them to cool a little.

They’re ugly as hell, and Zeke would probably toss the batch in the trash, but one bite has my eyes rolling back in my head. I lick my fingers clean before grabbing a glass from the drying rack. Pulling a jug of milk from the fridge, I fill the glass and chug half of it before refilling it and putting the jug away.

Taking the glass back to the counter where my donuts are waiting, I proceed to eat all six, plus two of the donut holes. When I pop the last bite into my mouth, I realize I’m crying. I’m a snotty, slobbery, chocolatey mess who has just realized she was wrong––eating my feelings was a terrible idea.

Not bothering to clean up my mess, I stumble back to my office. I feel my way through the darkness to the couch I put in here for Zeke to take catnaps on during the mid-morning lull. Curling into the fetal position and cradling my overstuffed stomach, I let the tears flow until I drift off into a deep, dreamless sleep…also known as a sugar coma.

Chapter26

She’s Mine

Sam

Me:Hey, are you busy tonight? There’s something I need to talk to you about.

Zoey:Sorry. Can’t tonight. I have plans.

Me:Okay. What about tomorrow? It’s really important, Z.

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