Page 118 of The Prince of Demons

“She had everything when she was in college,” I said. “She got her top House. She married the love of her life. She could have even had Gaksi had she not shoved him away.”

Gaksi nodded in quiet approval in my mind.

“Your mother knows you have more control over your powers than she does,” Reaper said. “She envies you—it’s visible all over her face every time she overreacts to your presence. She knows that kind of power is not granted lightly by the fates. That it is worth more than all the stars in the sky. You’re her greatest accomplishment, and that’s why she wants you to stay safe within her realm of control.”

I staggered back. They were the loveliest words anyone had ever said to me, though they were at the insult of my mother. “She loves me, Reaper. Every mother wants her daughter to be safe.”

“It’s not whether she loves you. It’s whether her love becomes too much. Restricts you from who you could be and instead confines you into her safest version of you. Family love is often the most toxic of all.”

ChapterThirty-One

THE ORACLE MUSINGS

Demons are very protective of what they decide is theirs. Especially their homes. Did you know that once a demon brings his lover to his home, he can never love another? It is as binding as the cut strings of the Fates themselves.

Speaking of demons: A new prediction has emerged! There is nothing more fickle than fate, and I saw a darling new prediction recently: would Aubrey get her true love’s kiss after all?

My hand flewto my mouth to cover my choked cry. Shame, so strong I thought it might swallow me, heated my cheeks. Why? Because my friend might be happy? Because the male who spent so much time with me—bickering, flirting, cavorting—had a future life that did not include me?

He didn’t owe me anything. Our bargain meant nothing.

And I could attest that Reaper might deserve his own true love story, too. Didn’t I say earlier that no being should suffer needlessly? Who was I to deny him his happiness? We all deserved our happy ending.

Although…for one foolish, fleeting second, I thought I could share mine with him.

I wanted to know that he was mine.

And…I wanted to be his in return.

I had been unchosen, and I had been unchosen for too, too long.

I remembered how engrossed he had been in Aubrey at the masquerade. Had he recognized his fate there and then? Was that the beginning of the end for us?

And it wasn’t shame, embarrassment, or wounded pride that took over then. It was longing.

Such pure, unadulterated longing that I collapsed back into bed.

* * *

It wasa quiet morning after that. No stray demon activity to report. Even Gaksi, sensing my mental anguish, removed himself for my privacy. Nobody to comfort me or judge me—especially when I woke up screaming because a dream monster had carved out my heart to eat, and I was too tired to fight.

Sunlight streamed through my blinds, and it was going to be a beautiful day, but I was lonely. So lonely.

A bargain. I was just a bargain to him, someone to help him toward an end goal. The sooner I accepted that, the better.

I missed home. I wanted my dad to come in my room and tell me that nightmares could never win. I wanted mom to make kimchi pancakes and tell me family is all you need, even if she insulted my character in the same breath. I wanted to go back to the way it was before I showed up at this monstrous university, and I never had to feel much pain or misery at all.

Maybe the bargain, the teasing, all the times we got closer—

Maybe they were just a way of passing the time. A method of making sure he didn’t truly turn insane in his quest.

That was okay. It would have to be. I did not want this bargain anyway, I told myself. This was never meant to be. It was for the best.

Forget Audrey. She could rot in hell for all I cared. Traitor.

Reaper could still be my… ally. I didn’t want his subjects to be stuck here any more than he did. His loving my former best friend didn’t change our end goals.

It was just a fruitless hope to think that someone would choose me as badly as I wanted to choose him.

---