Page 124 of The Prince of Demons

He disappeared with it, leaving me empty and wanting.

Desperate for a new type of bond to form.

ChapterThirty-Three

THE ORACLE MUSINGS

How’s the self-sabotage going, overdramatic prima donnas?

I kept reaching up,feeling for the familiar warmth of the bond. But it was gone now, as was my lover. I was free.

Maybe it had been because that was what I was afraid of, myself. Of being really and truly free to choose and not being brave enough to actually commit to it.

Yet I kept pretending otherwise.

Pretending like I knew what I was doing. Like I made friends effortlessly, and school came easily. Like I was in control of my life.

And I was so tired of pretending.

Determination swept through me. I knew what I wanted. And I would tell him myself.

I wandered out of the ornate room—the one that he must have matched my dorm room furniture to. His palace would respect a guest of his, right?

Hall after hall, I strode, admiring the rich tapestries and silver trim. Startled servants, made of spirit and shadow, bowed to me as I passed. I bowed back, which I think bewildered them even more.

I asked them if they knew Reaper’s whereabouts, but they only shook their heads. I thanked them before continuing.

I kept roaming, hoping to organize my thoughts before running into him.

Although I hoped I would run into him soon.

I passed what must have been a dining room. A long obsidian table sat empty, lined with high-back chairs on each side.

I thought of what he would look like leading that table. Regal. Magnificent. Confident. Was that where he ate when he wasn’t with me? It was larger than the Cornucopia and big enough to feed an army before battle. Was the food here better, too? Did shadow servants need to eat?

I lingered for too long in that room, hoping he would come.

I knew he would return to me, eventually. He always did.

Although, I wondered if this time I had pushed him too far.

I had been hurting, scared, and battered him with my fear. Which was unacceptable. I owed him an apology.

I’d acted like he was a burden, a stressor when really he was a… welcome distraction. And now, without his prodding flirtation, I had no outlet to deal with my emotions.

Did he feel the same? Did he miss what we had?

I had no way to ask, not with him gone.

And I wanted to ask him. I wanted us to be… something. I wasn’t sure what yet. But I didn’t want to lose him. And I certainly wasn’t afraid of him. Nor was I afraid of this spacious castle as I drifted along.

So it was time. To tell him I was ready to admit it. That I was the scared one, but I wasn’t anymore. Wherever he went, I was ready to face it.

I was brave and independent, and I chose this.

Not the Reaper, the demon from nighttime legends.

The Reaper who sent me gifts. Who came to my rescue over and over again. The demon who dropped the bond willingly, which I had grown to crave. Who pushed me to embrace myself for who I was, regardless of what others might say.

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