Page 100 of Until Now

Elizabeth left to get coffee twenty minutes ago. We need to leave or we’re going to be late. I’m giving her one more minute before I leave without her. But, I don’t want to do this part alone. I’m not sure why, but something about it freaks me out. I can’t take Kai, I’ve learned the past two days, he cannot be entrusted with these kinds of situations. Just before her minute is up, I hear the front door open.

“Elizabeth, what is taking so long? I need to get going. I have to—” I drop my purse when I meet the smoldering gaze from a lifetime ago. Surely, this is some kind of nightmare I’m about to wake up from. A hallucination from lack of sleep… I almost don’t recognize him. He has definitely filled out, his face slimmer and more manly. Gone is the baby face John Jansen I knew years ago. His brown eyes almost black. His hair darker than I remember, slightly longer, but styled to look as though he had done no work at all. “Jay?” His eyes light up at the sound of his name — a siren song beckoning him closer.

His hands open and close repeatedly at his sides. Like he’s fighting the urge to reach out and touch me. “Hey, beautiful.”

The term of endearment feels wrong coming from him. He isn’t supposed to call me that anymore, it’s reserved for another. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t I come see an old friend?”

“That’s what we’re calling it now?”

Elizabeth tries to hide my laugh behind a cough earning a small glare from John.

“I figured you could use all the support you could get.” He picks my purse up from the ground and hands it back to me. “I’m sorry about your dad, Nin.”

I look past him to Elizabeth, a silent conversation between sisters. This is weird, right? She shrugs.

“You said you’re on your way somewhere? I’d be happy to accompany you.” My eyes back on him, the wheels turning. I’m trying to figure out what to do with him. As far as he knows, as far as anyone knows, there isn’t another man in my life. So, did he come because my dad just died or to finish what we started years ago without the threat of prison. “If you want company, that is.”

Elizabeth answers before I can, “Actually, I’m going with her and—”

“Fine,” I sigh. “You can come.” I take the coffee from Elizabeth, stopping her protests, “It’s fine, Elizabeth. I’ll be fine.”

“Nina, I—”

“I’ll call you later, okay?”

I have a bad feeling about this. Nothing good can come from his return. Nothing. I don’t miss the glare Elizabeth shoots at John, his smile practically splits his face in two following me towards the car.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Walking out ofmy bedroom, I see John making himself comfortable on the couch, his feet propped on the coffee table — at least his shoes are off. I don’t have it in me to fight with him about where he puts his feet, even if it pisses me off. In the short amount of time I spent getting ready, it seems like everyone dispersed: Elizabeth paces the patio on the phone as Eileen watches, but Josh is nowhere to be seen.

“Dude, get your feet off the table,” my brother snaps when he joins us. I snicker behind my water bottle swallowing two Tylenol. I’m going to need it if I have any hopes of getting through this meeting.

“Oh, Nin! There you are,” John says, jumping to his feet. “You look gorgeous.”

I roll my eyes and rinse out the glass water bottle putting it in the dishwasher. John has been overly helpful since he made his grand return two days ago. Any time one of us needs something, especially me, he is the first to jump into action. And, he’s always complimenting me. It’s sweet, I guess, but it’s starting to grind my nerves.

“What time do we leave?”

“We,” I motion between me and Kai, “are leaving now. You are staying here.”

“I don’t mind driving. I know how hard this is going to be, you guys might want—”

“I think they can manage, John,” Elizabeth says, coming back inside. She hates that I’ve let him hang around, but what am I supposed to do? It’s not like he’s harming anything. He’s just annoying.

“What did Alex want?” Josh asks when he returns from downstairs.

I’m not surprised it was Alex on the phone. He’s been calling at least once a day to check on us.

“He’s not coming,” Elizabeth sighs.

“What do you mean he’s not coming?” Josh’s jaw tightens, his eyes narrow towards his wife.

“Alex is gonna see what he can do, but doesn’t look promising. Not with…” Elizabeth motions slightly jerks her head towards John and it all clicks into place. They’re talking about Nick. And, he’s not coming…to the funeral?

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you?” John takes my hand into his gaining my attention. “Really, it’s no trouble.”

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