Page 98 of Until Now

“Oh, Nina, thank God!” Eileen rushes out of the house straight into the crossfire. She fusses over me and hugs me tightly, but my eyes never leave his, not even when she hugs him. “Why are you guys standing out here? Come inside. Elizabeth and Josh just arrived with some food.”

I glare at him daring him to accept the offer.

“I should probably get home,” Nick says. “I’m sure Pop will want to know Nin’s okay.”

Nin.

Not Nina.

Not Dee.

Not Princess.

Nin.

He’s not supposed to call me Nin.

“Do you need to borrow my phone? You can—”

“Eileen,” I snap.

“It’s okay, Lina. I need to get them back anyway.” He motions towards his car where his brother and Sheyenne watch the scene unfold. I take a step back when he reaches for me. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m gonna go find Kai.” I turn on my heel to go in the house because all I want right now is to crawl into his arms and let the walls come down. And, if I stand there any longer, I’ll lose my resolve. I’m still mad at him. Still hurt. Too many lies and secrets. I’m not hurt by what Brina did, but it hurt my brother. And now, our dad is gone. I’m the only one he has left and I can only imagine the mess that awaits me inside.

§

I didn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t. I went through the motions of my nightly routine — shower, comfy sweater, skincare, and a glass of wine by the fire in my room. I did my best to avoid the others, I had a lot of information to process before the sun rose today. Around two in the morning, I finally turned off the television. The news had spread globally: Alaric Villa was dead. Everyone wanted to know what came next. What did this mean for the companies? Was Kai ready to fill his father’s shoes? Would I have a role to play in the company? The news media had spent hours trying to determine the answers as photos of our family flashed across the screen. I hated how they seemingly ignored the fact two other people had died in the crash. What about them? What about their families?

I wanted to hear them say their names too.

Andrew Collins.

Phillip Gable.

The cause of the crash remains undetermined, but it’s speculated to be pilot error. I refuse to believe it. Andrew had flown that route too many times, he could do it with his eyes closed. Phillip, too. Somewhere deep in the back of my mind, a horrendous thought took root. Brina. Could she have done something? Had someone done something?

Daddy told me he was filing the divorce papers when he returned from Denver. He already told Brina it was coming. I wouldn’t put it past her to do something to stop the divorce from happening. After all, becoming a widow looked much better than a divorcee.

I dialed and deleted the familiar number six times before I finally hit send on the seventh time, and it went straight to voicemail. That’s the moment I finally let myself break. The walls crumbling down. It felt like someone had a hold of my heart and squeezed it mercilessly. I gasped for air in between sobs. His voice on the recording the straw that broke the camel’s back — the weight of the last six months finally chipped enough away and I crumbled.

He's gone.

The one person I had always been able to turn to, the one who loved me unconditionally… Gone. My dreams reduced to a pile of ash and smoke on the side of a mountain. He would never get to hand over the business to Kai or watch Kai follow in his footsteps. He would never see Kai and Eileen get married and start a family. He wouldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle. He would never meet his grandchildren or see them take their first steps or graduate college. He would never get to enjoy a real vacation, one where he wasn’t managing Brina’s emotions and a million work calls. He’d never enjoy a life free from Brina. The more I thought about everything he was going to miss, the harder I sobbed. It didn’t seem fair in the moments when he was going to start living life, it was ripped away from him.

When the sobs finally subsided, I sat on my balcony. It was cold, but not unbearable — it helped me breathe again. The weight on my chest never lifted, but I could at least take a breath. By the first break of dawn, I finally started to rebuild the walls and pushed everything back into place.

I had a job to do.

The sounds of someone walking around upstairs tells me Eileen is up. Kai probably won’t be getting up until Elizabeth and Josh arrive with food around noon. I can imagine Eileen’s shock when she walks into the kitchen to find a fresh pot of coffee. She will find my room empty — bed made and curtains drawn. Maybe I went for a run, she’ll think, but by now she has heard the muffled sounds of my conversation with the Colorado State Police. On cue, her feet pad against the oak flooring of the stairs leading down to the lower level. Just as I hang up the phone, a knock on the door. “Morning, Lina.”

“Morning?” Eileen peeks her head inside, utterly confused. Surely, this isn’t the same Nina Villa who just received the news that her father was dead less than twelve hours ago. “Nin, what are you doing?”

I shrug nonchalantly. “Just taking care of some things. I had to meet with a client and—”

“Wait, you’re working?”

“I started working on the funeral arrangements. I need to go meet with the director this afternoon, and set something up with the priest. I already spoke with the police about getting—”

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