Page 20 of Doctor Dilemma

“I don’t know what the fuck that means, Erik, and I wish you spoke in English I could understand,” I said, “but it sounds impressive. Let the sales team know so they can include that in their ad copy.”

Erik blushed, I could tell he was proud of himself.

“Let me send you the link.”he said with a smile.

He clicked around and I received a link to a sandbox version of our website, which I opened. Sure enough, there were a series of five questions, each with an empty space for me to provide an answer.

“Number one,” he said. “What is your favorite day of the week?”

Suddenly, I heard the excited chimes of Bagel’s tags. She’d found something in my room. I lifted the laptop up to investigate.

“Everything okay?” Erik asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Just checking on the dog. I’m listening.”

“Okay,” Cheryl said. “Number two: How do you take your coffee?”

“Number three,” Erik said. “How long, in minutes, does it take for you to get ready for work in the morning?”

Then I froze in sheer panic when I saw what Bagel had found. I jumped up and threw my laptop, which ended up on the ground.

“Mila?” Cheryl asked. “You sure you’re okay?”

Bagel had somehow gotten ahold of my vibrator and held it in her mouth, looking at me playfully as she did, before shaking her head hard as if it was a small animal she was trying to kill.

“The dog…” I yelled as a loud buzzing filled the room. “Hold on a second,” I said totally losing my cool.

I ran over to Bagel, but she bounded to the other side of her room, racing past the laptop and its webcam. I should have turned the video off, but I was too focused on getting my favorite toy away from her.

“She got something of yours?” Erik asked.

“Just give me a minute,” I shouted back at the computer. Bagel was moving too fast for them to see what she had, fortunately, but it also made her harder to catch. I closed the bedroom door to trap her inside, but she continued to leap across the room.

“What’s that sound?” Erik asked.

He may not have known, but I could see the red in Cheryl’s face — she knew exactly what was going on.

“Maybe we should reschedule the meeting for another time,” Cheryl said.

“Yeah,” I said, “that would be good. I don’t want to waste your time.”

“No, we can give you a second,” Erik said. “This is important.”

Take a fucking hint, I thought. But this would be done in a second. I had Bagel cornered. I jumped at her and grabbed her, then used my other hand to pry the vibrating toy from her mouth. In doing so, it flew across the room, right in front of the laptop, where it buzzed around in a circle for my team to see on the hardwood floor.

“Is that a…?” Erik asked. “Oh! Umm… Hey, I’m going to go pour myself another coffee real quick. I’ll be right back.”

I thought that was sweet of him to at least pretend not to see. And Cheryl was looking down at her keyboard, avoiding eye contact with the camera.

“You know what?” I said. “I am just calling out the giant vibrating elephant in the room. Can we take a quick break so I can deal with this? I’ll be back in five minutes.”

“Yes,” Cheryl said. “Great idea.”

I grabbed the vibrator, turned it off, and shoved it into my dresser drawer, which I slammed shut, mortified.

I turned off my sound and video, then grabbed Bagel’s leash. If I was going to watch her, I wasn’t going to do it in my apartment where she could mess with my things. We were going to hang out next door.

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