Page 43 of Bought

Guilt that my grief for her had damaged my relationship with Isabel, perhaps irreparably.

I lifted my tumbler and took another sip, rubbing absently at my chest with the other, the place where the grief had settled in and taken hold.

Thinking about Juliana was futile. That was an old path and well worn, and it led nowhere good. Better to think of the little sub and all the pleasure she’d given me tonight, and it had been such pleasure.

The moment I’d knelt behind her on the floor and pulled her against me, the heat and softness of her body, the scent of her arousal, had ignited my intense hunger from earlier, in that hotel room.

I wasn’t a man who lost control — as a Dom staying in control was the whole point. But if anyone had interrupted us right in that moment, I would have punched them in the face.

There had been nothing in the world except the curve of her hips, the roundness of her ass, the soft, slick folds of her pussy waiting for me. I hadn’t wanted to hurt her when I took her — I knew for some women it was painful — so I’d wanted to get her good and wet for my cock. I hadn’t intended to taste her the way I had, though. Oral I gave out only when a sub was extra good, but I’d had a taste of her back in the hotel, and I couldn’t resist another. She’d been delicious too, salty/sweet, and hot, squirming in my grip. So perfect that I’d given her another orgasm for the sheer pleasure of listening to her scream against the carpet, her body trembling.

She’d been so responsive, so good for me, and then when I’d pushed inside her, felt her pussy squeeze around me, tight and slick, something had come loose inside me. Something possessive.

A dangerous sign because I never got possessive of a sub. Never ever. Yet there was something about her that had gotten under my skin and stayed there. Perhaps it had been the glimpse of pain in her eyes back in that hotel room, when she’d told me she’d never belonged to anyone. It might have been a manipulation — she’d been so desperate to get back to my place after all — but I didn’t think in that moment she’d been trying to manipulate me. In that moment she’d seen something in me that had made her give me a little piece of her soul.

I’d fractured many relationships in my time, burned too many bridges to count. I had Caleb and Atlas, though I had no idea why they continued to put up with me, and then there was Isabel. The most precious relationship of all and I’d broken it, probably beyond repair.

But the little sub had trusted me, and it had been a long time since I’d earned anyone’s trust. And now I had hers, I didn’t want to give it up. It felt like hope, and it had been a long time since I’d had hope too.

I shifted restlessly in my chair and took another swallow, the tight feeling in my chest and the warmth of her resting against me lingering, the way she’d turned her cheek against my shirt…

Why had she never belonged to anyone? Who wouldn’t have wanted her? She was beautiful and passionate and brave, and also, I suspected, very smart. I literally couldn’t think of a single reason why anyone wouldn’t want a woman like her. The whole thing spoke of abandonment, and I didn’t like that thought, not one bit. Because I knew what that felt like. I knew what it was to be alone. And despite Caleb and Atlas’s presence in my life, I’d stayed alone ever since Juliana’s death.

It was a choice. I’d never open myself up to that kind of loss ever again.

She’s still a risk. You should get rid of her come morning.

Yet that possessiveness inside me growled at the thought. I wasn’t done yet. There was too much about her I didn’t know, too much I wanted to find out. She was a mystery, a pretty little puzzle and I wanted to unlock her. I wanted to unravel her.

After I’d put her to bed, I’d programmed the lock on her door to stay locked until six am the next morning, just in case she decided to do any late night wandering around — while I might believe she’d probably sleep until morning, I couldn’t take any risks, especially when I still suspected her motives about wanting to be here— so she was safe there for the meantime.

And in the morning…

Lifting the glass again, I took another warming sip, thinking.

I shouldn’t keep her. I shouldn’t be indulging my curiosity with her. I shouldn’t be responding to the dark, possessive thing inside me, the hungry part of me that I’d thought had died with Juliana.

Then again, there was nothing wrong with indulging my curiosity, either emotional or sexual. It didn’t mean anything.

I could keep her for the weekend at least if that’s what she wanted too. I’d had plans to go into the office for the weekend since I had some R&D reports to go over, but I could cancel that. It had been a while since I’d let myself have a weekend, after all, so why not?

I never played with a sub for more than a night and always at a club. I’d never wanted any of them to be mine. But I couldn’t deny that there was a hunger inside me. A hunger for more than a night, for a little sub of my own. An untouched little sub who’d never been anyone else’s but mine.

And she was mine. I’d bought and paid for her. I’d taken her virginity. I’d given her, her first taste of submission, and that made her mine completely.

An intense satisfaction gathered inside me.

She wanted to be mine, too. She’d told me so. And I didn’t think she’d say no to the idea of staying the entire weekend. I could sweeten the deal, too, with another five hundred perhaps. After all, spending time with the little sub was much better than worrying away at the problem of Isabel. She was under Caleb’s protection, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

If I had this weekend doing nothing but indulging myself, then maybe I’d be in a better mood to be dealing with Isabel and the issue of the Hamiltons next week. Caleb was always telling me that I was far too uptight and needed to get laid. Perhaps it was time I took his advice.

I finished the scotch, staring out the windows into the neon-soaked Manhattan night, anticipation and hunger already beginning to build inside me at the prospect of a weekend with a sub of my own.

I hadn’t felt either of those things in too many years to count and perhaps it was mistake to allow myself to feel them now. Then again, it was only a weekend. I’d satisfy myself and let her go back to her life after that.

17

Zara

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