Page 151 of Pucking Wild

“Yes, okay? He saw me naked on beach day. He was in the pantry, digging around like a raccoon, looking for more chips, and I didn’t see him in there.”

“And you gave him more to look at,” she teases. “So, that’s the big secret? He saw you naked on beach day?”

I glance back up at her.

She goes still, her smiling falling. “Oh, what the hell did you do? Did you fuck Ryan on beach day? Is that when this all began—”

“No,” I rasp. “Andshush. Do we need this whole restaurant to know our business?”

“Will you just tell me what happened—”

“We kissed, alright?” I say over her. “We—well, we shared a perfect fucking moment if you must know. He was flirty and sweet and attentive, and we kissed, and I was naked, and it was magical. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you giving me judgy eyes or unsolicited advice—or worse, looking at me likethat,” I say, pointing at her face.

“Like what?” she replies, eyes wide.

“Like you see hope for His & Hers towels in our future,” I hiss.

It’s her turn to glare. “You know I wouldnevergive you monogramed towels as a wedding present. Is that really what you think of me?”

“This is so not about the towels. Why are you so okay with me dating Ryan?”

“Because he’s good for you and he’s good to you. What else could I possibly want for you in a partner?” she replies. “I’m just terrified that you’re not in the right place to receive his love, and you’re both gonna end up hurt. And I don’t know how to talk to you about it without making you bolt even faster.”

“Do you see me bolting?”

“Your running shoes are on, and you’re waiting for the sound of that starter pistol,” she replies honestly. “You always are, honey. And Ryan doesn’t deserve that. Frankly, neither do you. We all just want you both happy. If your best happiness comes from being together, that’s what we want.”

I suck in a breath. “Rachel…”

“That sweet man is not gonna bolt,” she says, pointing her finger in the direction of the restaurant windows. “Ryan Langley stays. If you want him, he’s yours for the taking. If you don’t, let him down gently…and soon. Because he is crazy about you, honey. He’s in this. He’s sticking. Let him stick…or let him go.”

“I can’t give him what he wants,” I whisper, tears burning in my eyes.

“He wants you,” she replies. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re the only person who can give him that.”

“He wants a version of me that I don’t know if I’m ready to be,” I explain.

“And what version is that?”

I swallow down the emotion sitting thick in my throat. “Wild Tess,” I whisper. “The Tess who laughs and dances in her underwear. Free Tess who says what she thinks and takes what she wants. Fun Tess who plays with toys and fucks with joyful abandon.”

“He wantsyouthen,” she says with a soft smile. “The woman you just described is the Tess I know and love. He sees you too, doesn’t he?”

I nod, glancing down at the empty sushi boat. “Yeah, I think he does.”

“And you’re terrified of being seen,” she summarizes.

I nod again.

“I’m sorry,” she says after a quiet minute. “I want to be there for you, but I don’t always get it right. I think it’s time that I settle for being your friend, not your partner or your guardian, certainly not your parent. Tess, I’m sorry. If I’ve ever overstepped or gotten in the way, I’m really sorry.”

I glance across the table. “Where is this coming from?”

She smirks. “Ryan might have yelled at me the other day.”

I gasp. “He did? Oh god, what did he say?”

Her smile widens. “He called me Hades…and he called my guys Cerberus…before he told us all to back the fuck off and leave you two alone. He seems to think he can take better care of you than I can.”

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