Page 209 of Pucking Wild

Tears sting her eyes as she shakes her head.

“Don’t do that,” I say, my head mirroring her shake. “Don’t close off. Talk to me. Get it out.”

“I’m scared,” she admits. “This is all moving so fast. Ryan, I’m scared of what I feel for you. I have never loved another person the way I love you. Not as a friend, not as a lover. Not ever—”

“I feel the same way,” I say, stepping closer, my hands brushing down her arms. “Tess, I know I teased you and said I don’t believe in soulmates and love at first sight and all that stuff. And I’m still not sure I do,” I admit, taking her hands in mine. “I’m a rational guy, Tess. I like evidence. I like knowing a thing is real because I see it and feel it. But now, I’m beginning to think I didn’t believe in soulmates because I hadn’t met mine yet. How can you see and feel what it is for your soul to mate with another’s until you find that person meant to be yours?”

“Ryan…” she whispers.

“Tell me you don’t feel it too,” I challenge. “Tell me you don’t feel a…a rightness in yourself when we’re together. At first, I told myself it was lust. I told myself it would fade if I could just scratch that itch. But baby, it’s not fading. It just gets stronger. Every day the wanting you gets stronger. Do you not feel it too?”

“I do,” she admits, her voice small. It matches her hope. She’s not ready to dive in with both feet. Her trust burns like a weak candle on a windy day.

“One step at a time,” I say, being the strength I know she needs. “You don’t want to live at Ilmari’s house anymore, right?”

She shakes her head.

“Good, so move in here. You can have your own room if you want. Or you can sleep in my bed, and I’ll worship you like the goddess you are every day of the fucking week. Every night too,” I add with a grin. “And I’m thinking of adding a sauna out on the back deck.”

She smirks.

I cup her cheek, brushing my thumb along her soft skin. It might just be my favorite point of contact when we’re not fucking. I love the softness of her cheek. “We’re starting small. Let’s live together. No labels, no cages. Just two souls happiest together. Whatever else comes—marriage, babies, life partnerships, or a respectful parting of the ways, that door will always be open,” I say, pointing to the front door. “I will never hold you back or hold you down. I don’t need any papers or legal proof to mark what we both know is true.”

“I know,” she says, her hand splaying over my chest.

“I just want to love you,” I say. “I want to put you first. I want to see you smile every day and know I’m the reason. I want to be your person. I want to make my home in you, and I want you to make your home in me.”

“I want that too,” she says. “More than anything.”

“I told you I would never ask you to marry me, and I meant it—”

“I’ll ask,” she says, tipping up on her toes, her hands on my shoulders.

“Wait—what?” I look down at her, eyes wide.

She looks right back up at me, her gaze unwavering. “I’ll ask you. Ryan, you deserve to be asked—not right now,” she adds quickly, and we both let out a nervous laugh.

“No, yeah,” I say, nodding as if she hasn’t just punched a hole through my universe.

“My divorce isn’t even final yet,” she hedges.

“Fair,” I say, still reeling.

“And if it’s okay with you, I’d like us to just take this slow,” she goes on. “I want us to enjoy each other. No cages, no labels, right?”

“Of course,” I say, nodding like a bobblehead.

“But Iwillask you, Ryan,” she says again, a smile curling her lips. “If we someday decide that a legal marriage is what we both want, then when I’m ready…whenwe’reready…I’ll ask you to be my husband.”

“Are you serious right now?”

She flips my hair off my brow with gentle fingers. “It’s like what you said about soulmates. You don’t know what it means to have one until you have one. I think perhaps I was too quick to dismiss the labels of husband and wife and what they could mean to me because I hadn’t met the person who was meant to carry that title with me.” She smiles, dropping her hand away. “Ryan Puppy Langley, you’re the best person I know. You’re so kind and loving. You’re gentle, yet strong. You listen. You learn. You fight and grow. I’m in love with you, and I’d be honored to be your wife…someday…probably…” Her grins widens and there’s a twinkle in her eye. “I know that’s not the most romantic of not-proposals, but it’s as vague as I can make it.”

Joy floods through me, and then I have her in my arms. “I’m gonna need you to say that again,” I say, my face nuzzling her neck.

“What—the whole thing? Ryan, that was total word salad.”

“No, just the last part—or the second to last part—the “L” word part,” I clarify.

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