Page 86 of Playing to Win

Chapter 28

Brooks

I lean against the kitchen counter watching Izzy scurry around her apartment, frantically tidying.

“I thought you said you didn’t care what they think.”

“And I thought you said I secretly do,” she snaps. She stops fluffing the sofa cushions. “I don’t care. It’s just she’s flown halfway around the globe.”

“Six hours.”

She launches the sofa cushion at me. “Now is not the time to be a smartarse, Brooks.”

The truth is, it’s all I can think to do because I’m afraid. I’m afraid her mother is coming here to tell her what a mistake Izzy will be making if she decides to stay with me. I’ve been here before. I know how this ends up. Me, alone, heartbroken.

I tuck the cushion under my arms for something to hold. A comfort. I’m already hurting, and I don’t know if I should stick around for the main event.

“You know why she’s coming, Izzy, and it isn’t to tell you that your two-week rental is untidy.”

Izzy stops and faces me. After long seconds of us staring at each other, she says, “I don’t know why she’s coming, Brooks.” Her words hold no conviction. Her shoulders sag and I am struck by a need to hold her.

I cross the living room, ditching the cushion and taking her in my arms. I hold her tight against my chest and stroke her shower-wet hair. “She’s your mom, Iz. What are you so afraid of?”

“Everything. Letting her down, letting you down, letting myself down. You don’t know her, Brooks.”

And I really don’t think I ever want to. I pull back and hold her cheeks in my palms. “Look, she doesn’t get here until after midnight. Let’s go to my place and go to bed for a while.”

“No. I can’t.”

“Izzy, tomorrow is our last day together. I don’t want to be apart from you tonight.”

“But my mother is coming. I have to be here.”

“Fine, then let’s go to bed here. Just let me be with you.”

The expression she offers could be apologetic or full of pity. Whichever it is, it cuts me deep. “You can’t be here when she gets in, Brooks.”

Those words finish me. I take a step back from her and nod, slowly. It’s happening again.

“We have to be up early for AMTV, anyway,” she says, her words coming fast. “It will take me ages to get ready in the morning. You’ll have a better night’s sleep on your own.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks for thinking of me.” I leave her apartment, slamming the door behind me. Instead of going to my place, I head outside and start walking, aimlessly.

There’s a cool wind that chills me through my T-shirt. I tuck my hands into the pockets of my jeans and keep moving west, until I’m standing on the edge of the Hudson. The city’s lights catch the ebb and flow of the water and take me back almost eighteen years.

I could hear Cady crying before I even got to Alice’s parents’ house. For a small thing, she had a big set of lungs. I didn’t care that she was crying, again, I was just excited to see them both. It had been a long day at the garage. A few emergencies came in, on top of the cars we already had booked. And I had been to Crazy Joe’s gym early that morning. I was exhausted.

But my feet started moving faster when I heard raised voices. I realized then that it wasn’t Cady’s normal crying; she sounded distressed. Alice was shouting above Cady’s screaming and, between the two of them, no one heard me enter the large suburban house.

I knew Alice’s mother would kill me if I didn’t take my work boots off before stepping on the new rug, so I fought with them, wrestling them off my hot feet.

“But I love him,” Alice shouted.

I could tell from the direction of her voice that she was downstairs with her parents and Cady was upstairs.

“Alice, you’re seventeen years old. You don’t know what real love is,” her mom said.

“Real love,” her dad began, “is providing for your family properly. Not being a mechanic at someone else’s garage. Now, Brooks is a nice boy, but that’s where it stops.”

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