Page 47 of A Son Hidden from the Sicilian

It might as well be you.

Ouch.

Brianna scrubbed her hands over her face, trying to make some sense of this man. Some sense of her feelings for him when he was clearly...delusional. At best.

“How can you stand there with a straight face and say we will be separate, have no relationships, and there will be no jealousy?”

“Because it is what I’ve decided. Because it is the best course of action.”

“Great. We’repeople, Lorenzo. People grow, change,feel. They don’t always choose the best course of action, as we’ve demonstrated the past week. Because making the right choice always is...hard. Becausealwayschoosing the best course of action is a little bit soulless.”

He waved a hand, as if dismissing it all. “People should make a conscious effort to be better than all that.”

For a moment she simply sat in the chair and stared up at him. He was serious. He truly believed all it took was aneffort. As if last night could have been avoided if they had bettereffort.

She got to her feet, needing to do something or she might simply explode. So she began to pace. “I cannot fathom why I am so desperately in love with you when you are the densest man alive.” That wasn’t exactly how she’d meant to tell him, to say the words. He had to know, but this was the directness her mother had spoken of.

“Love is a—”

“Yes, you think it’s a lie. A fairy tale. I get it.” She waved a hand in a broad gesture as she turned and paced toward him. “Well, no, I don’t. Because you love your son, and so quickly. You love your sister, your brother, your niece and so obviously that it’s there on your face when you’re in the same room with them. I suppose you had some bad experience with romantic love. Funny enough, so did I. I wish you leaving me the way you did had cured me of the fantasy of it all like your experience did, but alas.”

He stood there, very still, but there was something in his eyes. That flash of pain. Whatever it was he kept well hidden and buried. Whatever it was that made love a lie in his mind.

She had never asked, she realized. Her mother had urged her to be direct and Brianna hadn’t been cognizant of just how indirect she’d been. She had tried to know him before, but it had not been direct questions. It had been careful, roundabout conversations.

Little had changed since he’d been back in her life. The one direct question she’d asked him, about why he’d broken up with her, had gone unanswered. She’d let it.

Now she realized that she needed to know what he held back. And that meant she had to be brave enough to ask rather than live in fear. Fear of how he’d react to her poking her nose in it. Of what it might be. Of how it might hurther.

Was this love if she didn’t have the courage or strength to ask? To continue asking until she got true answers?

“You will stay,” he said, again. His plans, always the answer. “We will marry. We can wait a year or two if you’d rather, but wewillmarry. And we will keep our distance. I do not believe introducing the idea of ‘love’ into our marriage will do anything except hurt Gio.”

She crossed to him, trying to be brave enough and sure enough to face down whatever this was. She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him. “Whydo you think that?”

He looked down at her, icy and remote. But underneath that wassomething. If only she had the strength, the determination to reach it. So far they both had been very good at running away from those sore spots.

Something had to change. She looked up at him, at that cool, remote facade he worked so hard at. She had to be the one brave enough to challenge him. To work on herself to get through to him.

If she wantedmore, if she wantedlove, she couldn’t changehim. But she could try to deal withherselfin order to get through to him.

“Tell me, Lorenzo. What hurt you? What made it so impossible for you to believe in love when it comes tome. Because I know you love Gio. I know you love your sister. Your brother. Your niece. It’s evident in everything you do, every second you’re with them. And I know...” For a moment, her voice faltered, but she thought of their son. Everything he deserved. A father who worked through his demons was one of them. A mother strong enough to face down uncomfortable truths was another. “I know you care for me insomeway. So what is the lie?”

She expectedsomethingfrom him, and she supposed that was her first mistake. Thinking she could get past whatever walls he’d built.

“This is not open for discussion, Brianna. I have made the plan. We will marry. We will lead separate lives. That’s final.” He stepped away from her. Like she wasdismissed.

She wanted to keep being strong. She wanted to believe her mother was right and she just hadn’t found the words. But this was almost as demoralizing as last night. It didn’t matter if he loved her if he refused to acknowledge it. She couldn’tchangehim, she knew this.

So why was she trying?

“You won’t bend, even a little? Even for your son?”

“Everything I do is for my son.”

“Well, me too, Lorenzo. So my answer is no. No. I won’t do it.”

He scowled at her. “I do not understand how you could refuse me. This will solve all our problems.”

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