Page 44 of A Son Hidden from the Sicilian

And he would. Part of the year. It would kill her to be apart from him for any swath of time, but how could she stay here? She would become pathetic in no time. She needed to be strong, like her parents had taught her to be. Never codependent.

“I think it’s best if Lorenzo and I have some distance between us. I don’t plan on having a custody fight, of course. Gio and Lorenzo should have a relationship and will. We’ll find ways so that Lorenzo will be very involved in Gio’s life.”

“From half a world away?” Mom asked, not with accusation but with genuine concern.

Brianna ignored the twinge of pain and guilt. “He’s a billionaire. He can fly anywhere he wants whenever he wants. He could even buy a place in New Jersey to spend some time at if he’d like. Whatever he decides, we’ll come up with an acceptable custody agreement so that we each have a role in our son’s life.”

She sounded like him, she realized. Plans and agreements. Not the pain in her heart, or the weakness there. Maybe she should confess it all to her mother, but the idea made her feel far too vulnerable.

“You know I hesitate to tell you what to do, Bri. It’s your life. Your choices. It’s none of my business how you and Lorenzo decide to raise Gio.”

Brianna nodded. Her parents had been lifesavers. Rocks. But they had always been very careful when it came to advice. They had been raised by difficult and overinvolved parents and had endeavored to be the opposite for Brianna.

But Brianna couldfeelher mother’s disapproval. In a way she never really had before. Even when Brianna had announced she was pregnant and the father wouldn’t be involved, her parents had just given her quiet support.

Never disapproval.

Until now.

Brianna turned to face her mother, determined to be strong. “But you have something to say about this decision?”

Mom took a deep breath, slowly let it out as she brushed a hand over Gio’s hair. “Lorenzo is a generous man, a good father to Gio, kind to you. It’s very clear you both have feelings for one another, so I’m failing to understand this insistence that you remain apart.”

It felt like an unexpected betrayal. Even though her mother didn’t know everything, and would likely change her mind if she did, Brianna had not expected this. She had expected what she’d always gotten from her parents. Unconditional support.

“The problem is...complicated. Lorenzo and I are complicated.”

“Life is complicated. I think it’s very clear he has feelings for you, Bri. The way he looks at you.Anyonecan see it.”

“A look doesn’t mean much, Mother.”

“Maybe not, but don’t you owe it to Gio to try? To stay here and see what you and Lorenzo might be able to build. As a family. Lorenzo clearly has a very good idea of what family means. Saverina was telling us about all the brothers and sisters he raised. He’s a good man, Brianna.”

“I’m very well aware.”

“Then why would you go home? Why put Gio through custody arrangements? Why put yourself through that? I want to support you, Bri. I always want to support you, but I’m just lost here. Help me understand.”

Understand. What was there to understand? She supposed last night was the best example of why she couldn’t stay. He couldn’t fathom marryingher. He didn’t understand...anything.

Then shouldn’t you want to stay and teach him?

But how did you protect yourself and teach a brick wall?

“He wants to marry someone else,” Brianna said, turning back to the window and staring at one of the trees outside sway in the wind. “He took adateto that art show.” She tried not to let that hurt throb in her voice. “He... I know he has feelings for me. I doknowthat, but he doesn’t believe in love. He thinks it’s a lie. A fairy tale. I don’t know why, when he has so much love to give, but I have not been able to get through to him, and I have made some bad decisions in the process. It’s best for me and Gio if there’s more...separation. If I’m not throwing myself against a brick wall.” Did sex count as throwing herself against a brick wall? It sure felt like it.

“So you told him you love him?” Mom asked.

Brianna thought back to every interaction. She chewed on her bottom lip. “Not in so many words, but he knows.”

Helene pressed her lips together. More uncharacteristic disapproval. “Perhaps you should tell him.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, I’m sure I don’t. And I don’t need to. Your relationship gets to be your own, but you’ve always been a very...self-contained type of person.”

Brianna looked at her mother, surprised this was the corner more hurt was coming from. “What does that mean?”

“It’s not a criticism, Bri. It’s just... I could see where there might be some room for confusion. Have you told him, bluntly, how you feel? What you want?”

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