Page 57 of Descent into Madness

Opening the door to our bedroom, I find her coming out of the bathroom using a towel to dry her face. “Thank you for coming home.”

A growl comes out of me. “Stop saying thank you. Stop apologizing. I also want you to stop being afraid to call me. My hope is you won’t have to in the future, but don’t leave it until you’re on the verge of tears to ask for me.”

“You have millions of dollars at stake—”

“I wouldn’t give a fuck if it were hundreds of millions.” Anger flares through me all over again, sending my hand around her throat.

“I understandyoudon’t, but there’s your dad and your brother and—”

There she goes, thinking of others instead of herself again. I’m not doing a good enough job in teaching her to be more selfish. “They don’t give a fuck either. The satellite we talked about. We have one. My father doesn’t give a fuck it’s a hundred and twenty-five million. He understands what your happiness means to me. Why don’t you?”

The tears appear without warning, sending a bullet to my chest. “Talk to me, Nicky.”

“Why?” She whispers the word.

I don’t understand her question. “Why what?”

“I know you said when I’m happy it makes you happy but…”

I’m going to take my time killing Richie Angelo in payback for causing my woman to doubt for a single fucking second she isn’t worthy of having everything she deserves—including a man who views her as precious as she is. “I didn’t care about Blanca’s happiness because I didn’t care about Blanca. It doesn’t matter I warned her before we married that I couldn’t feel for her. She was my wife. I should have honored her as such. I didn’t. She might have cheated with my brother, it’s what I deserved. If I wasn’t going to do what I could to make her happy, she had every right to do it herself. I’m not going to make the same mistake with you. It isn’t enough to keep you. It means nothing if you aren’t happy. If you don’twantme as much as I want you.”

She blinks and tears run down her face. “I understand you can’t love me, but would it be okay if I love you?”

It’s the moment she kissed me for the first time all over again. I feel it in every cell in my body. I’m not the man she deserves, but I’m never letting her go. “I promise you will never regret it.”

* * *

Manuel

The next few days are busy. I don’t agree with Nicolette about her attending the funeral of Ebba Pasio. However, her mother is adamant it’s necessary.

Since the whole thing seems to be stressing her out, I decide to turn it into something less depressing. We’re taking all three of the children with us as well as the nanny. I wanted to go for two weeks; however, Ofelia informs me she doesn’t want to miss her first game, and Nicolette agrees with her. So, we’re only going to be in Chicago for a little more than a week.

“Do you want to stay in your home? Or I have a home we can stay in while we’re there,” I ask as I make plans with our need to leave tomorrow. We’re in our bedroom. The room is large enough I have an area to sit and read. She’s walking back in from taking a shower wearing a towel around her and another around her hair.

Eyes wide. “You have a home in Chicago? Why were you staying in the Levin brothel?”

I don’t miss the way her eyes narrow at the second question. Lying appeals, but I’m aware the truth always comes out—usually painfully. I motion her to me. I’m clocking the way she moves slowly. I tug her into my lap as I pull the towel around her head off.

Gripping her behind her neck, I bring her face to mine. “Exactly the reason you think I did. I preferred paying for it. Either working women or the mistresses.”

She’s chewing on her bottom lip. I press a finger to her lip to stop her, it’s making my cock hard. “Why?”

“I didn’t want there to be a question with consent.” Her eyes are wide. “It’s one of the reasons I didn’t understand your desire to be taken against your will. I’ve never had to ask for sex since the first time I had it at sixteen. But…”

This is the last thing I want to talk about. I don’t want her looking at me differently. Yet, she’s waiting for my answer. “Once I learned how to pretend like I was everyone else. I moved onto learning how to manipulate others to get what I want. At first, it was simply trying things out. Then I began challenging myself. Trying to see if I could get others to do things they didn’t want to.”

A hint of something flickers in her eyes. I want to assure her it’s not what she’s thinking—not even I was prepared for what happened.

“Like I said, I’ve never had to ask for sex. It was almost too easy. I started going out of my way to find women who weren’t interested, maybe because they were in a relationship or whatever reason. To the point I ignored the honor system my father did his best to instill in me, one of those being no married women. She told me she was married. Told me she loved her husband and wasn’t interested at the beginning of the night. None of it mattered, I needed the ego boost of getting her into bed. When she gave in and took me back to her place, I was proud of myself. I woke to find her husband standing over us. He had a gun. And he used it on himself.”

The horror in her eyes tells me I should feel shame. I don’t feel anything. All I want to know is if she will turn away from me for it. She sighs. “How long ago was it?”

“More than ten years ago. Since then, no more manipulating citizens for my ego.”

Sagging into me, she runs a hand over my cheek. “My big, bad, scary husband. I still love you—”

Relief sends my mouth down on hers.

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