Page 113 of Poetry of Flowers

My lungs felt so tight, and I couldn’t breathe.

“Air,” I gasped, getting up on shaky legs.

This didn’t feel real, I need to feel something real, something to hold on to.

Water spilled from my hair and clothes on to the carpet as I made my way to the window, ripped it open, and leaned out of the window.

The freezing wind filled my lungs.

I could breathe, it was all in my head.

All this fear, it was only in my head, my body was alright.

“I called the police, he’s going to get what he deserves, I promise. It’s manslaughter. He could get life.” Kayden’s voice came up from behind me. The surrounding noises were clearer now that I calmed myself a bit.

“Where does he live?” I spun around and looked at the broken boy standing in front of me, his eyes had dark circles under them, and the tip of his nose was red.

His black hair fell into his bloodshot eyes. Water dripped down his cheek bones and jaw.

“Don’t Tillie-.”

“Where does he live?”

Kayden looked at the ground and walked over to his nightstand, he typed something into his phone before handing it to me with a map to the address.

Grabbing my bag, I made my way out of the room, but he ran after me.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Tillie!” his voice was shrill.

While I ran, I turned around. “I’ll be right back, I just- I just need to do something-” I shouted as I was running down the stairs.

I didn’t want to leave Kayden right now, but it was only a matter of time till the police arrived at his father’s home and I needed to know why he hadn’t helped, I wanted to hear what he had felt at the moment he had destroyed my family and my life.

Pain will pass - September 6, 2022

This pain will pass eventually,

I told myself the day my life ended.

Even this promise sounded like a lie,

Just like the other things people recommended.

No one could heal myself but me,

Fix the pain and sorrow.

I put a period at the end of that line,

Writing only happiness into my tomorrow.

ChapterThirty-Eight

MATILDA

The address Kayden had given me was about a mile from the hotel. I needed to run because I couldn’t drive, and also because I needed to feel the city around me and to feel that I was still breathing.

When I arrived right in front of the house, my phone started vibrating violently in my bag.

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