Page 21 of Poetry of Flowers

“Do you want to stay here?”

“Yes, I just don’t care anymore. I want better times to come, I want all those empty days to be over.” The tears had stopped, and the emotion had left my voice.

“How about I stay here with you?”

I pulled away. “You don’t have to; I will be fine.”

Autumn shook her head, “But what if I want to? We could have a wonderful time together.” She pulled me in her arms again.

“Just let me be there for you, and I will.”

You have a problem.

You’re sick.

I want you to live again.

I sighed, maybe I should just accept that I needed to make changes.

“Okay.”

ChapterSix

KAYDEN

“Kayden, maybe you should sit down.”

“A fuck I will do! I just found out my father- no, the person I always thought was my father, was always right to hate me. Because all this time I was the problem!” I yelled at Theo who sat on the living room couch, watching me calmly while I ran up and down with my mother’s letters in my hand.

He did have a reason.

I was the problem. God, I would have hated me too if I found out my son was never my son after my wife let me live a lie for six years.

I was a bastard.

Letting myself fall on the couch, I threw the letters on the ground and grabbed my hair. When I was younger, I used to pull on my hair when I was frustrated or angry. That’s why I had a buzz cut until seventh grade.

Almost eighteen years.

Seventeen years and four months, everything had been a lie. I had always joked about that I hoped someday I would find out I wasn’t that man’s son, but I never really meant it. For some reason it hurt, maybe it was the betrayal, or perhaps it was just that now I could never blame anyone else again. My existence was the reason for all the fucking problems in this family.

“I wouldn’t say he was right to hate you,” my best friend sighed beside me.

“He raised you with love for six years and could have continued like that because blood doesn’t mean family,” Theo told me.

How could he stay this calm?

My life was fucking falling apart.

But he just sat there, quietly watching me go mad.

“Stop Theo! You know nothing about any of this!” I shouted at him and buried my face in my hands.

“I do know family doesn’t depend on blood, I grew up with a stepmother and call her Mom,” he replied, calm as a turtle. I suddenly realize that’ve never once seen my friend lose his temper.

I still yelled at him like an asshole. It was hard to think straight right now.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry I let my anger out on you.”

---