Page 33 of Poetry of Flowers

I took out almost six hundred dollars I had stashed away for next month. I lay them on my desk and take a piece of paper, folding it into an envelope to keep the money save.

“Tillie, stop! I have enough in my pockets.”

I didn’t turn around as I put the envelope into my bag.

“Tillie.”

I didn’t want to accept his money anymore, someday I wanted to pay him back for everything.

“Matilda.”

“Let me do this, I want- I need to be my own person for once. I do appreciate your concern and all the money you wasted on me over the years but-”

“Stop.”

His olive eyes stared holes into my body.

Throwing my hands in the air, I sighed again, “What?”

Kayden took another step towards me, I looked up, and he down. He was about a head taller than me.

I missed the times when I had been the one looking down at him.

“I spend money on you for one reason only and that’s because you’re my best friend, and I care for you, if you can’t believe that, then that’s your thing to work on Matilda. But never tell me I wasted my money on you, every cent was worth it.”

“Are you mad at me for wanting to spend my own money?” I asked. Clearly, he was overreacting, sometimes I wished everyone would just leave me alone.

“No, I’m mad that you talk about yourself like a burden.” walking back to my bed, he sits down, pulling the guitar back on his leg like we never had that conversation.

* * *

Kayden droveover to Theo’s house; we were going to pick him up and then my cousin before we’d get our train from Seattle.

I wasn’t a big fan of trains, but they were safer than cars. I never wanted to get my license. Most people, including my mother, didn’t die because they couldn’t drive or made mistakes; it was the other drivers. If you make just a little mistake, you could kill a whole family. And that scared me.

“What about Blake?” I asked from the passenger seat.

There was still this weird tension between us. It felt like there was something I was missing. It wasn’t exactly news that I wasn’t always up-to-date with everything, but usually Kayden tried to fill me in, not today, though.

“I sent Faith a message, she said she can watch him while we’re gone.” His voice still sounded a little cold. Was he that angry just because of the money? He could build up his anger like a Jenga tower, someone just needed to pull out a single block and everything would come tumbling down.

“Why didn’t you tell her? Why did you stay over?” He turned onto Theo’s street and sighed loudly in frustration again.

I hadn’t done anything wrong, had I? No.

“Stop being so mad with me, I didn’t do anything to you. What’s up with you, Kayden?!” I asked, my voice sounded hurt or cold like his own.

For a split second, he looked over at me, his eyes softened before he concentrated on the road again and parked in front of the Weston house.

“I’m sorry, it’s not you.”

“Then what is it? I’ll make it better.” I hated seeing him like this, so if he could just tell me, I’d fix it. I would fix the universe for him if I could.

Kayden stared out the window before he turned his head back to me. “I can’t tell you, Tillie, not yet. Please let it go until I’m ready.”

His voice was soft, and I nodded immediately.

“Of course, I’m sorry.”

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