Page 43 of Poetry of Flowers

“Shut up, Weston, you forget everything I tell you anyway.”

“Oh, I don’t, I have a photographic memory, I remember everything.”

“Give me an example.”

Finally, a moment of silence while I checked the traffic, looking for my chance to turn onto the road that led to the train station.

That’s when I noticed Tillie squeezing her eyes shut, her fingernails buried in her palms. I knew she did this often. The pain in her palm quietened the fear in her mind.

“In seventh grade you told me you were allergic to strawberries, since then, I only buy mint chewing gum in case you try and steal them from me. When you buy food, you don’t usually read the labels.”

“Oh... that’s actually nice...”

As I took the turn, I took Tillie’s hand in mine and straightened out her fingers, pressing them against mine.

I couldn’t stand watching her hurting herself, even if it helped her in some weird way.

She had scars in her palm from doing this over the years.

She tried to pull her hand away, but I didn’t let her. There was no chance I was going to let her hurt herself.

For a second, I controlled the wheel with my knees and grabbed the disgusting coffee out of the holder in my door and handed it to her. “Drink this, it’s torture enough.”

Yeah, I knew this was not the right way to talk to someone who hurt themselves. The difference was that I knew Tillie, and she didn’t want to hear it, so I handled it differently.

“I don’t like coffee,” she mumbled.

“I know.”

* * *

I had bookeda crazy expensive parking spot next to the train station for seven days.

The train was packed when we searched for seats.

“Watch where you’re going, boy!” an elderly woman complained as I accidentally touched her with my bag.

“Hey, can I get your number, babe?” a guy called after Autumn when we finally found seats for four. Tillie slipped in first and I after her, Theo and Autumn took the seats that faced backwards because I couldn’t ride that way, I would get sick.

“I’m not interested, babe,” she replied before she let herself fall on the seat in front of her cousin.

“You’re ugly anyway, bitch,” he shouted back again, only making Autumn giggle into the hand over her mouth.

“I love boys like this, they usually have mommy issues, letting their anger out on women they can’t have.”

“Leave family issues out of this Autumn,” Tillie warned her, laying her legs over her cousins.

She wore black pantyhose under her dark red skirt with forest green gauntlets over her Dr. Martens.

I could drown in her beauty and wouldn’t try to get back to the surface…

Stop it … I had to quit thinking like that.

“Calm down, little cousin, I’m just joking because the boys I used to like, loved to project their mommy issues on the girls they were dating. I used to have something with a boy like this, and I won’t ever make that mistake ever again.”

Autumn rubbed Tillie’s legs while the train left the station.

“You never told me about that.” Tillie looked surprised.

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