Page 62 of Poetry of Flowers

“Our lips could be the savior our hearts need.”

Tillie’s hand wandered up to my neck, her fingers played with my curls.

She stood on tiptoes, our noses touched for a minute before her lips touched mine again and she— she fell right into my chest, so I had to catch her to not fall back and hit the back of my head on the toilet.

Because the damn door stood wide open and Theo was there, his expression unbothered. “Could you leave, I got to pee?”

Desire - September 3, 2022

Your lips are my dearest desire,

Never could I touch them without my heart a fire.

Hands pull on our souls like we’re their puppets,

Forbidden since childhood our thoughts

closed away like the moon when the sun hits.

ChapterNineteen

MATILDA

The sunny day only lasted for an hour before gray clouds covered the sky, and it began to drizzle. We didn’t get a lot of sun in Grand Lee or around here in general, it rained most days of the year, and it seemed like it was following us everywhere, but rain was the least of my problems. After Theo had been so kind to interrupt Kayden and my “almost kiss” I ran out of the bathroom and jumped back into bed, which woke my cousin because I landed on her knee and almost dislocated it. An eventful morning. The motel served breakfast from seven, and it was half past seven in the morning, but all of us agreed that eating out somewhere else would save us the food poisoning we would most likely get from anything cooked here.

While Kayden and Theo got ready in the tiny bathroom, I had to tell Autumn what had happened. Kayden knew last night had not been a dream, I knew that too, and yet we acted like it was like a scene from a movie we had watched the day before. The whole situation was frustrating. He had been waiting for me to kiss him in that bathroom but... I would hurt him if I let myself love him. The butterflies in my stomach when he flashed his green eyes at me or the jealousy I felt when I saw another girl looking at him the way I used to look at him.… jealousy was a cruel feeling I did not want to feel again.

But now I had to find out what to do next. I knew for certain that I was in love with my best friend. How could this even work?

How could I love someone when I couldn’t love myself?

If I let myself dive into his love I could fall, worse, I could fall and pull him down with me. I couldn’t just try things out with Kayden.

Why did feelings have to be so complicated?!

Back in the bathroom, I wanted to do more than just lay my lips on his and enjoy his warm hug. Maybe it was a blessing that nothing had happened. I didn’t know.

“This looks good,” my cousin said as we passed a fifties style diner.

The building was small and decorated in pastel colors. We went in and found a table next to the window. Kayden sat beside me as we looked at the menu. They didn’t have a lot of breakfast options to choose from, but I was happy to eat whatever. I was so hungry lately. At home, I always ate less so that Remy could have more.

Never in a billion years would I ask Kayden’s family for even more money, taking a step back wasn’t that bad. I would just use this as an opportunity to change some of my habits.

“Welcome to Molly’s, what would y’all like for breakfast?” asked a server with a fake smile. The people around here weren’t that nice, but who was these days?

“I would like some waffles and a glass of orange juice.” My cousin smiled at him.

“Do you wash the eggs before you scramble them?” Theo asked the server, who dropped his smile.

“How on Earth would you wash eggs?”

“You hold the egg in your hand and run it underwater before you crack the egg into a pan and fry it” my friend explained.

“Why should we wash the eggs? You don’t eat the shell, do you?”

Theo shook his head. “No, but if a tiny splint of the shell falls into the eggs it could contain salmonella, the bacterium is on the outside of the egg not the inside. I’m not desiring food poisoning.”

The server rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand and muttered an insult or something.

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