Page 81 of Poetry of Flowers

She took my hand and led me to the middle of the dance floor. I loved how it was never about how good a dancer you were at those kinds of parties, but about how much fun you had. I took the red cup out of her hand before she accidentally poured it over her clothes when she started dancing. We had changed in Caitlin’s room and Autumn had packed some dresses for Tillies birthday in Chicago, one of them she had lent her cousin for tonight, and she looked gorgeous in it. If I wasn’t already in love with her, I would have fallen so hard there would be no coming back. It was a black bodycon dress with long sleeves and a turtleneck. It was perfect for her. Her Dr. Martens completed the outfit. She wore her bi-color hair open for once, and her natural waves fell to the middle of her back. Of course, she was also wearing her maroon lipstick.

The fantasies I have had about her covering my entire body in the shade of red on her lips… Kisses pressed on my skin, drawing her own masterpiece on my soul.

Tillie rubbed herself against me, trying to dance back-to-back.

I turned around and lay my arms around her waist, trying to push her along to the rhythm. She leaned into me laughing and placed her head back against my chest as she grinned up at me. I wished I could capture this moment. She looked absolutely adorable.

“You look so funny from down here,” she chuckled, and her dimples showed.

“You look so pretty from up here,” I replied, and her smile softened and so did her eyes.

“You’re always pretty,” she said when I leaned down a bit, staring at her lips. Her gorgeous, full lips.

“Tillie!” Autumn called for her, pulling her away by the arm.

Not again.

When could we have a single moment to ourselves?

“I’ll be right back, pretty boy.” My best friend winked at me.

I loved that she was so happy, but I was also scared that she might enjoy the drink a bit too much. But that was a thought I buried quickly because I knew she wouldn’t let that happen to her. I had just read this article, but then again, statistics don’t apply to everyone.

I pushed through the crowed searching for Theo who I knew was with Autumn, who now was with Tillie with no Theo in sight. I stumbled into a room full of laughing guys, my friend one of them.

His dirty blond hair looked wild on his forehead as he lay sideways on an armchair. His glasses were about to slip off his forehead while he laughed unbothered with the guy sitting on the floor next to him.

Did he have something to drink too?

Theo sometimes smoked because he liked the look of the smoke coming from his mouth, but I had never seen him drinking.

I walked over to him, feeling suddenly sobered up, when I knelt down next to the armchair and asked the other guy to give us a minute. He didn’t argue and just went to a little group in the corner.

“Kayden!” he noticed me with a smile.

Yes, he’s drunk, alright.

“You’re happy?” I asked him with a soft smile. Why should I be angry? We all had something to drink tonight, and the night was by no means over yet.

“Yes, I feel normal.” He looked so surprised by his own words, while I felt my smile fade.

“What do you mean by normal, man? You’re always normal.” Theo shook his head and smiled sadly

“We both know I’m not as normal as you, Tillie or even Autumn. There’s this cruel voice inside my head that makes everything so much harder for me. I used to pray to wake up one day and be like you.” He laughed as if all of this was a joke to him.

“The definition of normal is not to be like everyone else. Normal means you accept yourself the way you are. Stop that shit, Theo.”

“But the loud music doesn’t make me go wild in the head now, and I don’t feel like I need air when I’m around people. I don’t feel like a burden in a room full of people having fun.” He laughed happily. “I feel free.”

It made me happy to see him so relaxed, but at the same time it was scary what the drink had done to him. Of course, I always knew life was harder for him, but he had never told me how much it affected him.

“He means he’s like us now!” the guy who sat here a few minutes ago shouted over to me. I stood up and walked over to him.

“Mind your own business, dickhead.”

Who did they think they were?!

The guy laughed at me.

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