Page 41 of Poetry of Flowers

Remy looked up at me when they broke the hug, his brown eyes still full of tears. “You’re going to leave me?”

Not those puppy dog eyes, I understood then why Kayden hated when I looked at him like this. Remy’s eyes looked right through me and implanted their sadness right into my own soul.

Ouch.

“I’m sorry, Remy, but this is really important for me. When I come back, we will do a movie night with lots and lots of popcorn.”

With a smile on my lips, I tried to make him feel a bit better, and it must have worked because the little smile I loved so much returned to his face.

“With M&M’s?”

“With M&M’s.”

When Autumn had returned from her room carrying a small sports bag, we went outside, and I said goodbye to my brother one last time.

His light-brown curls felt so soft as I ran my fingers through them.

“Can you promise me to be careful?”

His question didn’t seem like a normal goodbye between us, it was as though he was really scared for my safety.

“I’m always careful, I promise.”

“I had a dream, you died like mom did. The water swallowed you; it took you away from me, too.” I felt goosebumps creeping over my back and became a bit lightheaded.

Nightmares were a part of both of our daily lives, most of our nightmares were memories we were reliving over and over again because we hadn’t yet been able to process them at the center of our trauma.

My cousin Autumn believed that dreams always had a meaning, she loved spiritual stuff and saw a message from the universe in everything.

However, dreams could still just be dreams in my eyes.

“Don’t be scared, Remy, I am not going to swim anywhere.”

“But Mom didn’t go swimming either.”

How could I explain this to an eleven-year-old? I had been around his age when Mom died, and it was hard to understand she was gone and how it had happened. Before that, I hadn’t known that water could be this brutal.

“That was different, I promise Remy, I will never leave you, okay?”

After a moment of hesitation, he nodded, even though I knew he didn’t fully believe me.

“Now give me a hug.” I chuckled and pulled my baby brother into my arms. He held me tight for a few seconds.

“I love you.” Kissing the crown of his head, I stood up straight again.

“To the moon and back,” he smiled, before I waved my aunt goodbye and helped Autumn to load her stuff in the trunk.

“He seems sad,” Kayden said when I sat in the passenger seat again. My aunt and brother waved to us as he drove slowly until their faces disappeared in the distance.

“The boys at his school stole his shoes and mocked him for not having a mother,” I answered him dryly, I didn’t talk about how he was also scared for me because I drowned in his dream and now, he thought I was going to drown for real.

“Shit, kids nowadays are horrible.”

“They were always horrible.”

“They never stole your shoes.”

“You’re right, they cut my hair and told me that they’re just doing me a favor because my mommy couldn’t do it anymore.”

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