Page 61 of Poetry of Flowers

Tillie nodded. “Because it wasn’t a dream where we were friends.”

“We weren’t friends? Not even in a parallel universe, Tillie. I’d make you my friend in each universe.” I laughed it off, but she nervously rocked from one foot to the other. She wasn’t trying to tell me something, or was she?

“No, not that. We… kissed”

“We kissed?” My heart was jackhammering in my chest from one second to the other. No no no,last night was a dream – a romantic, pathetic fantasy of the mind.

“You had a nightmare, and you were sweating and mumbling. There was no way I would let you suffer in your own mind, but when I woke you up you said things to me...” Tillie laid her hairbrush to the side, her eyes searched mine as we stood only a few inches from each other.

None of this had been a dream, I had told her that I was madly in love with her.

Maybe she understood it was wrong and knew it was about our friendship, Tillie knew I loved her, she loved me too, but I had stopped loving her that way a long time ago.

“You said that you could love me in your dreams, and when I tried to kiss your forehead, you tilted your head so that our lips touched. I wouldn’t consider it a kiss, but there was something.”

Everything could change at this moment. I could tell her that it wasn’t a dream and that my heart always belonged to her. I could tell her that my soul was hers to take and hold or shatter it right away because never could I love someone like I loved her. But I didn’t do that. Why? Because my beautiful flower wasn’t ready to bloom yet, if she told me that I would only ever be her best friend I could take a knife to the heart, and it would feel the same.

“How did it make you feel?”

What a stupid question to ask, Kayden.

“It confused me because we are friends, it confused my head, but my heart felt softer, not like the usual stone inside my chest.”

I love your confusing way to talk, Tillie.

I lowered my head a bit as she tilted hers towards me. “The dream almost seemed... seemed real.”

Her breath touched my lips when she talked, brushed them softly, and made me beg on the inside that she would just kiss me and give my heart what it had always wanted.

“Dreams can look like desire,” I said, lifting my hand to her face to brush a curl of red hair behind her ear, counting the few freckles on her skin.

So fucking beautiful.

“Sometimes we mix up dreams and reality,” Tillie said, her eyes moving down to my lips for a split second.

Do it.

I beg you, my love, just kiss me.

“Reenacting dreams can help us find out what they mean.”

Come my flower, lay your lips on mine, and all the wounds will heal, all the pain will disappear, and our hearts will be at peace. Come and free our bruised and trapped souls.

Her gaze wandered down to my lips again, this time longer, and when she looked back up, I saw longing in her eyes. Longing and desire.

“Your lips were so soft in my dream. Are they just as soft now?”

Her tone is soft when her hand makes its way up my naked chest, her cold fingers walking slowly up to the center of my chest, right above my heart.

I couldn’t decide if this was torture or a dream, I never thought could come true. I never wanted her hand to let go of me, of the place she owned since she first smiled at me.

My heart was only ever yours to take.

“You could try and lay your lips on mine again, they might take all your pain away.”

Now her eyes meet mine, I wouldn’t kiss her. I wanted her to kiss me, I wanted to feel her desire.

“Mine might take yours away too.”

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