Page 72 of Erik's Salvation
A small shudder made her tremble in his arms. “I hope so. I’ve never had many important people in my life, but when I do, I always seem to lose them. I don’t want to lose her too.”
Something shifted in his chest. He applied some pressure to her hips and waited until she was facing him to cup her cheek. “Give her time. Once the shock is over, she’ll come back to you.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“You still have me.”
She smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thank you.”
He kissed her, hating that he knew exactly what she was thinking. That they were new and hadn’t even labeled what they were. That secrets still lay between them.
He shifted over to the pantry and took out the spices, but he could feel her eyes on him.
“So,” she said softly. “When’s your next…job?”
He stilled, the muscles in his forearms flexing. “I leave Monday and will be gone for three days.”
She gave him a slow nod. “Will it be dangerous?”
His jaw clenched. “I can’t talk about that, Angel.”
Disappointment flashed in her eyes. “Do your parents know what you do?”
“No.” And he planned to keep it that way.
“Your brother or sister?”
He shook his head, although he was pretty sure they all suspected.
She seemed to think about that for a moment, and he wasn’t sure exactly what she’d settled on. A part of him knew he wasn’t just keeping the information from her because it was classified…he was keeping it from her because he wasn’t sure she’d accept what he did. That she’d accepthim.
She looked like she was about to go back to the chopping, then stopped. “Can I ask you another question?”
Dread snapped through his limbs like a whip. “Sure.”
“Why don’t you want kids?”
He set the spices onto the counter with a bit too much force.
“I’m not asking because I’m saying we’re going to get married and I’ll want kids,” she rushed to add. “God, we’ve only just started exploring this thing between us. But if there’s never even a possibility, I’d like to know why. Because I’ve always seen kids as part of my future.”
He swallowed, trying to make himself link a few fucking words together. “There’s never a possibility with me.” He didn’t look at her as he said it.
“Why?”
He grabbed the edge of the counter, his fingers so tight that he felt like he was going to crack the damn thing. “Hannah. I told you there are things I’m not ready to talk about.”
The hurt on her face deepened before shifting into anger. “You won’t tell me why you don’t want children. You won’t tell me what your job entails. How am I supposed to know who you are?”
“You’re not.”
Her lips parted. “Really? You seriously don’t want me to know you?”
When he remained silent, she shuffled away from the counter. “I know I said I was okay with slow, but I need to know who I’m dating. I need to know if I’m just keeping your bed warm until something better comes along.” Hurt tangled with her words.
His gaze cut to her. “I haven’t dated another woman since Vicky. You mean something to me.”
“Vicky. Your ex-wife. Is she around?”
