Page 19 of Then Came You

"She did not!" I heave.

"I wish that was the dumbest fucking thing she did."

At this point, he may as well be the world's best comedian because I'm laughing my ass off.

"Tell me more."

"I asked her to attend a day conference with me in Melbourne on a Thursday, and she said no because on the Friday she had a festival and she needed her chi to be zen. Firstly, what the fuck is chi, and secondly, who tells their boss that as an excuse?"

"She didn't!" I gasp.

"It gets worse. I asked her to do a pie chart for me comparing our last three years of revenue income, and she Googled pictures of fucking blueberry pies and popped them on a slideshow. Do you even know what sort of explanation I needed to make up on the spot in front of my Board of Directors? I blamed it on Haven, my five-year-old. A kid! I felt so guilty because I know my kid is way smarter than that." His hands are flying everywhere, and his face is so red, I almost think it's going to pop off.

I have a stitch from the hilarity of it all.

"Please tell me there's more."

"If you count her asking me if I knew Dr Shepard from Grey's Anatomy, or that she threw out all of our coffee because she thought someone had left piles of dirt in tin containers, then sure. I broke the fact that Dr Shepard wasn't a real doctor, and I had to witness her burst into tears and then proceed to berate me for being cruel and lying to her. Oh, and did I mention her little stunt of throwing out all the instant coffee in the building cost us thousands? She's fucking psychotic. Every day I go to work thinking I'm on Punk'd being pranked or some shit." He holds the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as he practises exhaling calmly.

I'm no help because I'm bent over the sink, holding on for dear life at how hard I'm laughing. I have to hold my ribs so I don't permanently damage myself. There are actual fat tears rolling down my face, and for the first time in ages, it's not because I'm sad.

"Then, she asked if I could give her a lift home because her car didn't go with her outfit that day. I should have bloody run her over, is what I should have done." He shook his head in dismay.

My body physically aches. I'm not sure my lungs can take much more of these ludicrous antics from what clearly is a psychotic nutcase. "Thank you," I heave out.

"For what? My misery?" he snorts.

"Yes. For making me feel like someone else is doing it tough too." I don't realise just how far bent over I am until he extends his head back so our noses are touching.

We're in a very Peter Parker and Mary Jane situation right now, and all my Spidey senses are tingling in the best way. There is this thick anticipation in the air, mixed with unadulterated tension.

This isn't how I imagined our first kiss going, and believe me, there have been a lot of scenarios, but still, I wouldn't change this moment for the world.

If his lips aren't on mine in seconds, I guarantee my tongue is going in search of his.

Chapter 7

Blade

Let’s face it: the moment Row dropped her coins at the cafe, I knew kissing her was inevitable. I was a fool to think otherwise.

Still, I never knew that so many words used to describe food could also perfectly describe a woman. Specifically, this woman.

Row is luscious, enticing, heavenly, mouth-watering, divine, delicious, tantalising, and I can just tell how succulent she is about to taste.

It’s not only her hair that’s sugary goodness; it’s her entire being. It’s unbelievable that she even smells as sweet as she looks. I have no doubt she’ll taste just as addictive.

In the back of my mind, kissing someone half my age doesn’t seem like the best decision I’ve made, but my body thoroughly disagrees.

And for some unknown reason, Row seems to be attracted to me as I am to her.

Do I understand it?

Absolutely not.

Unable to hold myself back for one more second, my mouth collides with hers. A groan immediately escapes me when I swallow her sounds.

I part my lips for her, inviting her to go deeper, but with the angle we’re in, it’s proving a little difficult. Still, I’m lost in the sensations of her touch. It’s soft and chaste but heated. She nibbles and pecks, runs her tongue along the seam of mine, and then goes in for another lip-smacking kiss.

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