Page 110 of Adrift

“After I left Ryan, I think he fell into depression. He’d lost his wife and the woman he was apparently set to run off with–”

“If they were going to run off, they would have taken Arman. Whether he wanted children or not, he had to have known that he would be in Arman’s life if he wanted to be with Sonia. Sonia loved Arman since the day we found out she was pregnant. There was no way she would have given him up to be with Ryan.”

Emily shrugs. “Perhaps he’d made peace with that. He didn’t care as long as he had Sonia. But after she died, he didn’t have anyone. And I think when he saw you again, that bothered him. Maybe it annoyed him that you were once again finding happiness but he wasn’t.”

“So he decided to explode my life up in my face?”

“I’m not defending him. Ryan is a complete asshole, and I haven’t spoken to him since our divorce was finalized, but people do crazy things when they’re in pain, Darian. They act irrationally out of jealousy, and they think that you’re the cause of their unhappiness when you’re not.”

I press my fingers together over my lap. “I still can’t believe she did something like this.” I look at Emily. “I still can’t believe it.”

“I was shocked when I found out, too. I honestly never saw any signs of a relationship between them.”

We’re quiet for a moment when Emily licks her lips, seemingly contemplating something.

“What?” I ask, urging her.

She takes a breath. “I wasn’t going to tell you more because I don’t believe it will help you now that Sonia is gone–she’d sworn me to secrecy when she was alive–but Sonia had been unhappy for a long time.” Emily closes her eyes for a moment before continuing, “She complained that you were obsessed with your school and that the two of you no longer had similar interests.”

Her words hurl me into my memories of having the same arguments with Sonia over and over again. When we first met, we loved to do the same things–skiing, kayaking, hiking, basically anything outdoorsy. But as time passed, Sonia became bored of those activities–she preferred to stay indoors and watch mindless television. In an effort to spend time with her, I’d watch her shows with her but even that wasn’t enough.

We’d grown apart, and we didn’t know how to grow together anymore.

“She’d considered leaving you several times but didn’t know what to do with her life if she actually did. She was so reliant on you. She had no connection with her family, her career was tied to your company, and she’d basically only had one serious relationship–with you. So, every time she’d think about leaving, she’d convince herself to stay for a little longer.” Emily clicks the pen in her hand a couple of times. “Looking back, I saw the signs of her depression, but I didn’t know how to help.”

“We tried marriage counseling, therapy . . .. I’d come home earlier from work to spend time with her. I even tried to get her help for her depression, but she refused to believe she had anything to worry about.”

“Oh, Darian, I know you did whatever you could. I don’t think her mental state or misery was your fault. I think one has to do a lot of soul searching to find the root of unhappiness before he or she can get on the path to happiness. But if you constantly expect happiness to be provided to you by someone else, you’ll be sorely disappointed because your definitions of happiness may be vastly different.”

I nod as my thoughts take me to my bottle of sunshine–the woman who gave away free smiles and kept a pocket full of fairy dust with her at all times. She was so different from her sister, forging her own path to happiness and living for her todays.

Even with the way I’d treated her, even after hearing my insensitive words, she didn’t lose herself to her anger. She gave me an earful back–hell, she left me for a day–but she also let me speak. She heard me. She saw me. She gave me a home. A home I didn’t deserve, but a home I’d cherish for the rest of my days.

I get up from my seat, taking my leave from Emily.

“So, did Ryan end up pressing charges?” she asks when I’m almost at the door.

“Not yet, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he does.”

She taps her lip with her index finger and her green eyes seem to twinkle. “He’s been begging me to talk to him just once. I don’t know that we’ll ever make amends, but perhaps I can make a deal with him . . ..” She smiles. “I’ll give him one conversation if he refrains from pressing charges.”

I exhale a short breath. “You’d do that for me?”

She shrugs. “What are friends for?”

* * *

Rani snuggles into the crook of my arm, pulling the sheets up over her bare chest. “You’re frowning.”

“I like to see your beautiful body, especially when you’re in my bed.”

She smiles. “You’ve seen my body plenty tonight.”

I stare at her face–the way her lips move when she speaks, the way her lashes almost reach her brow line when her eyes are open, the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs. I can’t stop staring because she’s the only one worth looking at. “I’ll never get enough of you, my Rani.”

She tilts her face to kiss my jaw while her hand scratches the other side of my face. She loves rubbing my scruff with the tips of her fingers and I love her touch. “Arman was fussy tonight. I think he’s teething.”

I tangle my fingers in her hair. “Yeah, or just growing pains.”

---