Page 14 of Adrift

I shake my head incredulously. Disgusted. How can she see this so inaccurately? I know my sister’s betrayal hurt my mother, but how can my mother not see her fault in any of it? “But it was that simple, Mom. Don’t you see? It was always that simple.”

My mother looks up at me like I’m deranged, her brows pinched in the middle of her forehead. “What are you even talking about?”

“Love. Love is that simple.”

I start to walk away on shaky legs when her voice halts my stride. “Don’t forget, Rani, I’m still your mother and you still live under my roof.”

I turn to look at her over my shoulder, lifting my head higher. “Not after tomorrow, I don’t. So, you either accept my decision or you’ll lose me, too. It shouldn’t be a hard decision, Mom. It should be simple. It is simple.”

Chapter Five

Rani

Rain pelting against a window.

Drumsticks beating against a drum.

A stampede arising over the Serengeti.

And yet, my heart still pounds louder, hammers harder. It reverberates against the walls of my chest like a mechanical device rather than an organ pumping life into my veins.

I’m not sure exactly what the source of my anxiety is. I feel like I’m standing at the cusp of fulfillment and failure. At the median between sovereignty and submission, hoping that after risking my relationship with my parents, I don’t fuck this up so badly that I actualize my mother’s parting words. “At the end of this, we’ll all be bankrupt.”

With my hands still on the steering wheel, I shake the negative thoughts from my head, taking in the Craftsman-style house to my right. If it’s this stunning from the outside, I can’t imagine what it looks like inside.

A curved driveway leads to a two-car garage with a beautiful dark wood door at the front of the house. My eyes rise higher to the golden bricks that seem to be housing a room with large windows. To the left of the garage is a large, wrap-around porch–in the same dark brown color–with inviting, golden maple double doors, affixed with opaque glass insets.

And while the modest, two-story house–complete with a dramatic gabled roofline and a perfectly manicured lawn–boasts refined elegance, its setting against the backdrop of tall pines makes it look more quaint and charming.

I make my way out of my old Toyota Corolla with my suitcase rolling behind me as I adjust my purse on my shoulder delicately, so as to not use my still-tender hand more than I need to. It’s already feeling a lot better since Saturday, so hopefully, it’ll be good as new in a day or two.

I climb the three porch steps before my finger hovers over the doorbell. Darian texted me ten minutes ago to tell me Arman was up from his nap and to ring the bell when I arrived.

My heart still feels like it’s going to pelt out of my body and land with a thud on this beautiful porch, so I repeat the same thing I’ve been telling myself since getting in my car this morning. “It’s going to be fine. You’re living for today and doing the right thing.”

My mom sat in the living room, glaring at me from her seat on the couch, as I lugged my suitcase and a few other essentials to my car with the help of my dad this morning. Even when I went to say bye, sitting next to her on the couch in a last-ditch effort to make her understand, all she could muster was, “Why do I feel like history is repeating itself, and the price has doubled? At the end of this, we’ll all be left bankrupt.”

I sighed. “Mom, I’m not running off to marry a man I just met like Sonia did, far from it. I’m going to help out my nephew, your grandson, when he needs me the most. That’s not a price to pay; it’s a privilege.”

She turned her face away from me, accepting defeat, though I know she was still unconvinced. I suppose it was the best send-off I could have hoped for after the way things ended at dinner a couple of nights ago.

I look back at my car parked in front of the house before taking in a deep inhale of the fresh Tahoe air. Releasing my breath, I press the doorbell.

A few seconds later, I hear the telltale sound of a lock unlatching before a figure appears behind the glass and the door swings open. My eyes find Darian’s before landing on his light blue T-shirt wrapped around those ridiculous stone biceps, and then move to my nephew in his arms.

He’s grown since the last time I saw him, and I can’t help the immediate smile that takes over my face. My chubby-cheeked nephew chews on his teether, surveying me curiously, trying to place my face in his short memories. I’m sure I’ve already been long-forgotten, replaced by the stuffed rabbit plushie he loves so much and that colorful teether he'll never let go of.

Still, my nerves settle at the sight of him. “Hi!”

“Hi.” One corner of Darian’s mouth lifts before he opens the door wider, inviting me in. His slicked back dark hair appears wet, like he just took a shower, and I try not to embarrass myself by leaning in to smell him again. In fact, I’m happy to report that I don’t even need to. The same scent of pine and citrus that I smelled on him a couple of days ago wafts over my nose as soon as I pass. Maybe it’s not his deodorant. Maybe it’s his body wash? Either way, the man smells divine. “How was your drive here?”

I turn back to him, keeping my eyes on my nephew because I don’t trust them not to linger on his father inappropriately. God, I need to get a hold of myself if I’m going to be living here for the next eleven weeks.

Bella’s words rang in my head throughout the drive, taunting me about my crush on my brother-in-law. And during the entire drive, I told myself she was being obtuse. Finding someone good looking is not the same as crushing on them. I find Zendaya and David Beckham good looking, and I don’t have a crush on either of them. I might sound defensive, but I know what a real crush is.

The last real one I had broke my heart into a million pieces at prom, and I’ve been searching for all the little fragments ever since. Too bad my skin wasn’t as thick as the rest of me–something my mom reminded me of often, especially when I winced at her insensitive remarks.

Anyway, I know this has nothing to do with a crush and everything to do with my retinas just finding someone visually appealing.

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