Page 90 of Adrift

Olivia chuckles, raising her glasses on her nose. “I actually saw it the day you brought her back from the river after her kayak toppled over. The way you buzzed around, trying to find an ice pack and the first-aid kit, the way you looked at her when she left with her friends. There was a sense of longing on your face that I hadn’t seen in a long time.” She winks at me. “There’s a lot one can observe from their view behind the reception desk.”

* * *

“Daddy!” Arman comes wobbling on his little legs as fast as he can toward me when I step inside from the garage. He has his arms stretched out and a smile that’s a mile wide, singularly focused on me.

I lift him up before he can barrel into me. “My man. How are you?” I kiss him on his cheek, pushing my fingers through his hair to tame it as best as I can. “You need a haircut.”

“He does. And he has a checkup with his pediatrician tomorrow.” My mom walks toward me, reaching up to give me a kiss on my cheek.

I tilt my head in confusion. “How did you know about his appointment?”

She laughs. “Rani. She messaged me yesterday to tell me that if she couldn’t come back by Monday, I would need to take him to his doctor’s visit.”

As if it wasn’t already twice its size, my heart swells, threatening to bust out of my ribs as I think about my girl messaging my mom, concerned about my son, even though she had more than enough on her plate. Who the fuck is she and what the fuck did I do to deserve her?

I put Arman down and he zooms off in a hurry to do something in the living room. “Hey Ma . . ..”

“Uh-oh.” My mom eyes me suspiciously.

I raise a brow. “What?”

“Darian jan, you have not called me Ma in a very long time.”

“So?”

She laughs, wrapping her arms around her chest. “So, a mother knows her son’s tells. You call me Ma either when you need something or you’re about to tell me something you don’t think I’ll approve of.”

Clearly, the women in my life have me all figured out.

I take off my cap and hang it on the hook inside the mudroom, walking past my mother to the living room. Rani is supposed to be here in the next fifteen minutes, so I’d better hurry up with my confession, admission, or whatever I’m about to do.

I’m a thirty-two-year-old, grown-ass man. I don’t have to tell my mother any of this, nor can she do much about it since I already have my heart set. But my mother has been in my corner, having given me nothing but her support and love. I’ve seen what it’s like for those like Sonia and Rani, who don’t have the kind of advocate I do, and I don’t take that lightly, which is why I owe her this consideration out of sheer respect.

Though there is no rush to tell Mom any of this today, after the text conversation with my brothers and the one with Olivia, I’d feel guilty if Mom found out through someone other than me.

I take a seat on the couch, putting my elbows on my knees. It’s not that I’m worried my mom won’t like Rani–I already know she does–but my mother is still more traditional and conservative than I am. It’s hard for me to guess how she’ll react to the fact that I want to be with my late wife’s nineteen-year-old sister.

“Ma, Rani and I are together.”

My mom gives me a blank stare, like she’s not sure what I’ve just said. “Together . . .?”

“We’re dating.” I’ve yet to take her on an official date, but that’s neither here nor there. This was meant to be a ‘for all intents and purposes’ sort of conversation.

Mom breathes out a small, “Ah,” before finding a seat next to me. Arman brings us each one of his toy cars before swapping the ones in our hands with two others he deems more appropriate. Mom uses the distraction to think, I presume.

“I’m not surprised. She’s a beautiful girl and so very sweet.” She regards me with a mixture of both hope and concern. “Though, she’s young. Very young.”

Here it comes . . .. I brace myself to hear Mom’s disapproval.

“I assume you’ve already gotten past the fact that she’s your sister-in-law.”

It’s not a question, but I answer it as such. “It wasn’t easy, but yes, I have. But, Ma, Rani is so much more than her title or her age. When I’m with her, I forget how hard the past year has been. I forget that I’d made a resolution to never be with someone again.

“She makes me laugh. God, she makes me laugh like no one ever has. But even more than that, she holds me accountable, doesn’t take my crap, and pushes me right back if I’m irritating her.” I huff out a laugh. “I can’t stop looking at her. Seriously, I feel like a creep sometimes around her because I just can’t take my eyes off her. I want to know what she’s thinking. I want to see how her mouth purses and her nose scrunches when she reacts to something I’ve said.”

My mom smiles at me knowingly. “You’re in love with her.”

I don’t respond, and she doesn’t need me to because it’s written all over my face. “The walls in this house resonate with her raspy songs. I swear, I heard her echoes in every room this weekend.” I watch my son, happily playing with his cars. “Ever since she came into mine and Arman’s life, it’s like she brought in the goddamn sun.”

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