Page 11 of Adrift

What if I don’t know what I’m doing? What if he gets sick under my care? What if I don’t feel comfortable living in Darian’s house?

How am I going to tell my mom?

God, how am I going to tell my mom?

After I proposed my idea to Darian, he thought about it for a few minutes. I watched as he weighed out the possibilities. His mom needed the rest and relaxation, and taking Arman off her hands would give her a chance to focus on herself more. And since I was only going to be able to help for the next eleven weeks until I had to go back to college, it would give Darian some more time to find a suitable nanny, instead of rushing into finding someone who might not be the right fit.

I knew the moment he made the decision. There was a brightness in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before, and he finally smiled–okay, a tentative smile but it was real, nonetheless.

“You’re sure about this?” He leaned his face closer to me, gauging my expression while I sat kneeling in front of his chair.

“Yes, I’m sure. I love that little boy with my life, Darian. I want to be the one to help you out for as long as I can before I have to go back.”

Darian sighed, a weight lifting off his shoulders. “What about your mom? She’s not exactly lining up to get my autograph.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Please. No one is lining up to get your autograph, old man. I’ll figure out how to deal with my mom.” I sounded more confident than I felt, but I didn't want Darian to have a change of heart from seeing any of my hesitation. Plus, I was a big girl. I’d need to step up to my mother and do the things I wanted to do, with or without her approval.

He surveyed my face for another moment. “Okay, but I think you should take this weekend to think about it once mo–”

“I’ve already thought about it,” I urged, squeezing his hand in mine for emphasis.

“Rani, this is a big commitment. While Arman is a relatively easy baby, he’s still a lot to handle for someone so young. You haven’t spent an extensive amount of time with him. Plus, I’m sure you had other summer plans.” He waited for me to object, but then continued with a glimmer in his eyes when I stayed quiet, “What’ll happen to all those plans to party it up and the dates you wanted to go on this summer?”

“First, I’ll have you know that my summer is, in fact, booked to the max with parties, plans of debauchery, et cetera.” It wasn’t, and based on the twitch of Darian’s lips, I knew he caught my sarcasm. “And though I’m on several VIP lists at the very exclusive establishments around the East Bay, I’ve decided I’d rather party it up with my one-year-old nephew instead.” I smiled at Darian, watching his smile finally come to life. “And second, I’m not that young. I’m a well-established adult of nineteen years. I’ll be twenty in early September.”

Darian’s eyes lingered on mine for a moment before they flicked to my lips and then back again. I wished I could read what he was thinking. “Sleep on it, Rani. Text me on Sunday night with whatever you decide. If you haven’t changed your mind, I’ll have a room ready for you at my house.”

A tap on my shoulder pulls me out of my thoughts before I see Melody’s hand waving in my face. “Earth to Rani. You still with us, woman?”

I tilt my head at her, giving her my best ‘go on’ look. “Yes. What?”

“Girl, listen.” Melody uses the tone I recognize as the one she uses when she’s going to give me her honest opinion–not like she ever refrains from giving someone her honest opinion, but still. “You volunteered for this for the right reasons and you are not backing out now. That hot-ass man needs your help, and so does his adorable-ass kid. So, do what you promised and help them.”

A few of the thorns piercing my insides let up as I turn to her. “You’re right. I can do it. And it’s not forever; it’s only eleven weeks. I can do eleven weeks.”

“Yes, you can.”

“What about that photojournalism project you’d signed up to do over the summer?” Bella asks, sitting with one of her knees up, still chewing her thumbnail. I can’t get an exact read on her, but if I know my cousin, she’s already making a pro and con list in her head about this whole thing.

I shrug. “I just have to find a live event and document it. Then, I have to submit it online. I can do that from Tahoe.”

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be too challenging. Will you get weekends off? I mean, I know this isn’t a job in the same sense, but will you have any time for yourself?” Melody eyes me before looking back at the road.

“We didn’t talk about it, but I’m sure I could take days off as needed. It’s not like Darian’s mom isn’t willing to help here and there; she just shouldn’t be doing this full-time.”

“And how are you going to tell Mona masee?” Bella asks, referring to my mom. “She is going to freak out.”

I stretch my neck, pinching the skin at my nape between my fingers and exhaling a long breath. It’s a question I keep avoiding, and I don’t even know if I have an answer. No matter how I break this to my mother, she’s going to lose her fucking mind. “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”

Melody laughs, shaking her head. “Girl, those are some famous last words. You better start strategizing like you’re planning a bank heist. This shit needs to be bulletproof before you get in front of your crazy mom.” She turns to me. “No offense.”

“None taken.” It’s not news to anyone that my mom is a bit on the extreme side. I look back at Bella, who is still watching me with concern. She knows exactly how much my mother dislikes Darian–how she still blames him for brainwashing Sonia and taking her away all those years ago. To some degree, I think she blames him for her death, too.

It’s completely unfair and utter bullshit, but convincing her otherwise is like ramming your skull into a wall of spikes. There would only be one loser and it wouldn’t be the wall.

We drive another few minutes, listening to some song by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran that Melody plays off her phone when she turns down the volume and regards me seriously. “I’m not trying to deter you or anything because you’re doing the right thing, but you do need to consider the amount of shit you’re about to be in.”

“You mean with my mom? Yeah, I know.”

---