Page 52 of Adrift

His intense gaze pins me to my spot again. “I’m scared of everything in-between.”

“The emotions,” I state, understanding him.

His thumbs gently soothe my cheekbones. “I didn’t want to go down this road again. I was starting to become settled in my single-dad life. Frankly, I’m terrified to take the path again.” When he sees my questioning gaze, he continues with the typical twitch of his lips, withholding his smiles from me, “But I couldn’t ignore the scent of lilies any longer.”

I wrap my hand around his wrists and fall into his beautiful cappuccino eyes. “So, are you saying you want to try?”

“I think I’d be a fool not to.”

My heart soars and I can’t hold back my grin. “I think you would be, too.”

He gently pushes me against the wall next to the door as he takes my lips again. His hands stroll up the sides of my torso as his tongue once again finds mine. My fingers skate along the hem of his shirt before I slowly dig them underneath, feeling his warm and taut skin. He groans at my touch, as the bulge inside his pants thickens. He grinds into the sweet spot between my legs before placing his hands under my ass, lifting me against the wall.

I yelp into his mouth as my face heats up in embarrassment. No one has ever tried to lift me before, and I feel incredibly conscious of the way his biceps flex around me. What if he tears a muscle? “I’m heavy, Darian,” I breathe, breaking out of our kiss.

“Do you doubt me?” His voice is low and gritty, making the throbbing in between my legs unmerciful. When I shake my head, he demands, “Then give me that mouth.”

I kiss him as his mouth covers mine in the most exquisite balance of too much and not nearly enough. His erection digs into me, rubbing against my swollen clit, and I moan into his mouth again. My nipples pebble so hard, they feel like they’re made of stone. I squeeze his waist with my thighs as he continues to grind against me.

His lips drop to my neck, sucking and coaxing the softest of moans from me. I feel his tongue over my skin before he slides up to grasp my earlobe between his teeth. Oh, God. I feel like I’m going to combust. He expertly sucks and pulls on my earlobe before moving to my jaw–biting, licking, and sucking.

“Darian.” I stall against him, my fingers inside his hair. I can’t decide if I want to press him back to my neck or pull him off.

“Fuck, Rani.” His eyes are half-lidded. “How the fuck am I supposed to slow this down? I want to fuck you right here, right the fuck now. I want to bury myself inside you until we can’t see straight.”

The images his filthy words paint in my mind have me arching further into him, taking just a little more. Moaning just a little louder. God, I want him inside me more than I want to breathe. “Darian,” I warn again, squeezing my eyes shut before reluctantly restraining my body from moving. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and every nerve inside me–and my slick, swollen, needy center–riots against me. “We need . . ..” I try to catch my breath. “We need to slow down.”

Darian halts, but I don’t miss the look of pure agony on his face. He nods before pressing his forehead against mine. We both clutch each other–my fingers digging into his shoulders and his still under my ass–as we quell our racing hearts, our chests rising and falling hard. He puts me back on my feet, scanning my face for a moment. “You’re so beautiful.”

I still have my arms loosely around his neck. “I’m not for everyone.”

His jaw clenches. “I’m not everyone.”

I gently scrape my fingernails against the nape of his neck. “No, you’re not.” I cut our locked gazes to look past him before coming back to scan his face. “But I’m not exactly experienced in the physical department, Darian.”

His face is blank, but I know he’s piecing together what I’m saying.

I clarify for his benefit, “I’m still . . .. I’ve, uh, never had sex.”

He inhales as if he’d been out of breath this whole time. “Okay.”

I bite my bottom lip as anxiety courses through me. “Does that bother you?”

He’s quiet, though his gaze never leaves mine. “It just makes taking things slow even more important. You haven’t given it away for a reason, and I don’t want you to have regrets.”

“I wouldn’t,” I insist. “Not with you.”

He leans down to kiss me. His lips linger softly over mine, and even as he pulls them away from me, I want to reach out and bring them back. He stretches his arm toward the door behind me, opening it. “You need to sleep.”

My heart thuds in my chest at what seems like a brush off. Did I say the wrong thing? Should I not have mentioned my lack of experience? I look at his face–impassive as it always is–before squaring my shoulders and heading to my room.

My experience is what it is; I can’t do anything about it. I come with it, whether he likes it or not. Feeling a mix of emotions from elation to confusion, I walk down the short hallway to my room.

My eyes stall on the image in front of me as I flick on the lights.

There, spread around my entire room, are at least ten vases full of deep burgundy lilies. From my nightstand, to the dresser, to the windowsill, the room blooms with the gorgeous flowers and the scent fills the entire space.

The one on my nightstand has a note affixed to it.

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