Page 59 of Adrift

Rani regards her mom dubiously. “Um, sure. Maybe I’ll call you Monday evening? It’s just, I have a few things planned for today.”

Her mother is silent on the phone, and since I can’t see her face, I continue to watch Arman practice his fine motor skills. “Remember my words the day you left. I don’t want history repeating itself, because this time, we’ll all be left bankrupt.”

Rani straightens, catching her meaning. “Talk to you later, Mom.”

As soon as her phone is off, she scans my face. She lets out a puff of air. “I’m sorry.” She presses her fingers to the middle of her brows, closing her eyes. “My mother is just a lot.”

I make my way to the couch and wait until she looks at me again. “Come here.”

She hesitates for a second before taking a seat next to me. I find her hand and gently weave my fingers through hers. “Why do you let her talk to you like that?”

Rani huffs out a laugh. “You mean, why do I let her talk to me like she has been for the past nineteen years of my life?” When I stay silent, she continues, “Did Sonia ever tell you about my mother and her strained relationship?”

I nod. “A little. It used to piss me off, the same way it is right now after witnessing what I just did.”

Rani regards our entangled fingers distractedly before leaning her head on my shoulder. “I don’t remember all the issues they had, but as you know, my sister was more of a wild child. She wanted to do things on her own terms, and my mom was just as much the dictator. They’d bicker all the time.” Her voice seems a little faraway, like she’s somewhere else. “One time Sonia took Mom’s car to someone’s house party at the age of fourteen. She didn’t know how to drive, but since Mom forbade her to go, she was hellbent on doing it even more.”

“Sounds like Sonia,” I admit, thinking about my late wife’s determination. She couldn’t accept no for an answer, even to her detriment.

“My sister’s worst fear was being caged. She’d say to me, ‘I feel like my wings are clipped, Rani.’ And with our mother, that’s how she always felt.”

My thoughts trail to our sessions with the therapist, where Sonia admitted to a similar feeling–that she felt trapped.

“Anyway, when Sonia left with you, my mom had no one else to bicker with. My dad is a punching bag that has no give, no resistance, so to punch him down wasn’t satisfying enough for my mother. So, she turned to me. She’s always been after me for being overweight, but after Sonia left, Mom channeled all her frustration into me.”

I bury my nose inside her hair, breathing in her flowery scent. “I can’t stand the way she talks to you, and I hate that you let her.” Rani’s shoulders sag, and I immediately regret making her feel worse. I haven’t been in her shoes, and I haven’t lived with her mother to know what sort of mental abuse she’s had to endure. It’s unfair of me to expect her to just be able to stand up to her mom, even though I notice so many glimpses of her courage. “Rani, look at me.”

She lifts her head and her glassy eyes find mine. I almost lose my shit all over again, tempted to call her mother and scream at her myself.

How? How can someone hurt this gorgeous, unselfish woman who would drop everything at a moment’s notice to help someone else? Who smiles in spite of the heartless things said to her.

I reach for her, grasping her face in my palm lightly and stroking her cheek with my thumb. “You are so fucking beautiful, you have no idea. I love what you’re wearing and the way you’re wearing it. I love your curves as much as I love your smile and your fucking tantalizing hair.” I wrap a curl around my index finger. “I’m sorry your mom doesn’t see you for the perfection that you are, but . . . I do. I see you and I hope that’s enough.”

Rani’s bottom lip trembles before she sucks it in, her chocolate eyes searching mine as they swim inside a well of tears. “Thank you,” she whispers before leaning toward me.

I kiss her gently, wanting to make it a little more when she breaks out of it abruptly.

“Shoot! I need to get going. I promised the nursing home I’d be there to help from ten to three today.” She lifts my wrist to scan my watch. “I’m going to be late.”

She gets up to gather her purse and her phone when I remember. “Oh, my brothers are coming over tonight for poker.”

“That’s cool. I really like them. Is . . .” she stalls for a second, “is that other guy going to be here, too? Ryan?” Her nose wrinkles.

“Yes, but I can tell him not to come. He’s kind of a douche so I don’t mind, but he evens out our group, so my brothers wanted to invite him.”

She shrugs airily. “No, don’t uninvite him! He’s fine. He just weirded me out the first time I met him, that’s all.”

“Yeah,” I agree, pinning my gaze to a spot behind her as memories come flitting in. I remember it took Sonia a little while to warm up to Ryan, but she eventually did. By the time we were all good friends, she claimed he was just misunderstood. “He’s always been an interesting guy . . . and not always in a good way.”

“I might head to a coffee shop after and try to start my photojournalism project. I’m still searching for events in the area to document.”

I get up from my seat, finding a way to be closer to her. I lift my hand to her jaw. “I don’t want you to not be able to come home because you feel uncomfortable.”

She wraps her hand over my wrist. “It’s not that at all. I sort of love working in coffee shops. The smell of coffee just helps me think better.”

“Okay,” I acquiesce softly before recalling what she said she’ll be researching. “You know, we have that kayak tournament in early August. If it won’t be too late for you to get it all done, perhaps you could document that?”

She wrinkles her nose. “No offense, but I might have had my fill of kayaks, so if I have to document it while atop a kayak, that’s going to be a big no from me.”

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