Page 72 of Adrift

I flick a glance his way, avoiding his questioning eyes, before getting up. “I’ll be fine, Darian. Really.”

Rinsing off my dishes in the sink, I place them in the dishwasher before wiping my hands on the towel. I feel his nearness before he even gets close enough to touch me, and my body goes on high lusty alert. I swear, my body is the most traitorous thing I own.

He leans in, his hands inside his pockets. “What’s wrong?”

I pretend to iron a wrinkle on my wrinkle-free dress with my hand. “Like I said, I’m not feeling well.”

His gaze singes my skin. “Look at me.”

I take a deep inhale, turning to him, keeping my face devoid of any emotion. I suppose I’m learning from the master.

He scrutinizes my face with his intense cappuccinos. “Why are you avoiding me?”

I blink, barely holding back from jabbing my index finger into his chest and laying into him. How dare he ask why I’m avoiding him, when all I’ve done all fucking day is wait for him to say a single word. How dare he act like I’m the one being different when he snuck out of my room this morning, only to disappear all day? How fucking dare he pretend that he cares about how I feel when I’ve all but begged him to feel with me? To be with me.

I clamp my jaw tight before moving past him. “Good night, Darian.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Darian

“You know, this isn’t necessary every single year,” Dad says to the three of us–Dean, Garrett, and me–as we give him another round of hugs in the foyer. “You guys make too much of a fuss.”

“It’s a big day for all of us, not just you, Dad.” Garrett pats Dad on the back before opening the door and stepping out.

Dad waves to my brothers, pointing to Dean. “You be careful out there tomorrow, son. Understand?”

Dean does a two-finger salute, following Garrett out. “I’ll call you soon.”

Mom lifts up on her toes to press a kiss on Arman’s cheek. He’s babbling and rubbing his eyes incessantly. After an active day in the sun, I know he’s exhausted. I won't be surprised if he passes out before we even get home.

“Is Rani alright?” Mom eyes me as if I should have an answer. “She seemed quiet today at dinner. Poor thing. I felt terrible that she wasn’t feeling well.”

“I’m going to check on her.” I lean in to place a kiss on Mom’s cheek. “I’ll let you know.”

Rani left twenty minutes ago, so she should be home by now, and if she thinks she fooled me with her exaggeration of an illness, then she needs to take more acting classes.

“She’s a sweet girl.” Mom gives me an accusatory perusal. “Is she upset with you about something?”

I grab Arman’s diaper bag and the plastic bag with his wet trunks. “I won’t know until I talk to her.”

If it wasn’t for raising suspicion with my family that something was going on between us, I’d have been rushing out after her, but with the way it currently stands, I keep my tone casual.

God knows what her deal was today. She wouldn’t look at me, no matter how much I tried to get her attention, and short of calling her out on it and making things awkward in front of everyone, I couldn’t do anything but stay silent. She looked at everyone else, threw them her pouty smiles for free, and giggled when Dean cracked his stupid jokes. But she never, not even once, looked at me with the same softness. Even when I tried to touch her, she shirked my hand away as if it burned her skin.

I swear, I can’t get anything right when it comes to the woman.

It drives me nuts when I think about the promises I made to myself–promises I tried my fucking hardest to keep as soon as I knew she’d be trouble for the long-abandoned organ in my chest. To not let her affect me. To not get attached. To not fucking fall . . ..

And look where I am now.

She made it impossible. It’s like she was born to test my resilience and my restraint, and I was born to learn that I had none, not when it came to her.

I slam the door to my driver’s side with more force than I’d intended, starting the ignition. I barely register the street lights as my mind buzzes with anticipation. Mixed in are feelings of irritation and chaos. What does she want from me? Do I just not understand women? First Sonia and now her. Even when I think I’ve done everything right, I seem to have it all wrong.

I get home ten minutes later, noticing Rani’s car parked at the curb. After unbuckling a sleeping Arman from his car seat, I take a quick peek in the kitchen, noticing it untouched from this morning.

I take Arman up the stairs and into his bedroom. He sighs sleepily as I put him in his crib and tiptoe over to the sound machine to turn it on. Finally, after closing his window blinds, I slowly creep out of his room.

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