Page 5 of Ablaze

“Are you telling me that I ate some shit that’s going to make me, I don’t know . . . go into heat? Oh, God!” He bends at his waist, gagging over the grass. “I think I’m going to be sick. What the fuck, woman? Why didn’t you say something?”

“Dude.” Malcolm rolls with laughter as a tear comes out the corner of his eye. “I feel like I can see breasts protruding through your gear–”

Dean shoves him, shaking his head. “Shut up, jackass! I’m fucking serious over here.”

He gives me a disdainful look, and I can’t help the giggle that rushes out of me. My eyes water and even though the man in front of me looks like he’s one thought away from strangling me, I can’t help but want him to stick around and make me laugh some more.

“You let me eat breeding cookies!? Are humans even allowed to eat them? What the fuck is going to happen to me?”

I shrug, trying to suppress another giggle, but I can feel my shoulders shake. “I mean, as long as you didn’t eat more than two, you should be fine.”

Dean’s eyes widen, and I have to work hard to ignore the howl of laughter from the other firemen. “Two? I ate half that fucking tray by the time I walked out here!”

I pretend to wince. “Jesus. Well, you should be vigilant of the symptoms then, and uh . . . potentially see a veterinarian if you find your genitalia is tingling,” the firemen all burst out with renewed laughter, “or your nipples start lactating–”

Dean’s jaw clenches as he looks around at all of us. “I’m out of here. You guys are the biggest assholes.”

I giggle before realizing we need to discuss a very important point. “Wait!” I stop the guys before they all huddle back into the firetruck, making my eyes as doe-like as possible. “Can you please not tell my brother about this? It’s literally my second day back in Tahoe, and he’ll flip his lid if he finds out. You know how protective he is. If he finds out I almost burned someone’s kitchen down, he’s going to insist I move in with him or something.”

Dean points his index at me. “Oh, you can bet I’m going to tell him about this. You let me eat goddamn hormone dog treats that will apparently make my nipples milk . . .” He takes a breath, trying to steady his emotions, and I have to suck in my cheeks to keep my face straight. “God, I’m so fucking scared–”

Dean glares at me as I shake with a fit of laughter.

“You think this is funny? I am so going to tell Rohan about this.” He shoots another scathing look at me over his shoulder, and even though he thinks he looks menacing, it’s all I can do to hold back my laugh.

I chase after them, leaving the tray on the ground next to the parakeets before pulling Marigold’s leash along with me. “Dean, please!” I blink rapidly and make a pouty face. “Please don’t tell him. He’s going to go all protective bear on me.”

“No.” He pulls the door to the firetruck open as the other guys jump in.

“Do you–” I try to keep my expression as serious as possible, hoping to stall him. “Do you feel emotionally unbalanced at all? Irritable, sensitive . . . emotional? It’s just that those are always the first symptoms . . .”

Dean glares at me, but his lips twitch with the smile he’s trying to suppress. “I don’t like you.”

“Duly noted,” I say agreeably. Locking my fingers together in a prayer pose, I try again. “Please, can you not tell Rohan about this?”

Dean dashes his gaze away, seeming to think before looking back at me. “Do you know how to make cookies for humans?”

I nod vigorously. “I can make all sorts of stuff. Macadamia nut, snickerdoodle, chocolate-chunk. I even have icing and sprinkles, so just pick your favorite flavor and I’ll have you covered.”

He lifts his chin. “Sprinkles, huh?”

I shrug. “Who doesn’t like sprinkles?”

“Nobody.” His eyes stay on me before his teeth drag over his bottom lip. “Fine. We’ll keep our mouths shut if you bring over a batch of your favorites to the station tomorrow.”

I clap, making Marigold bark. “Deal! I can bake them at my apartment tonight.”

“Wait.” Dean’s shoulders slump. “I don’t have a shift until the day after.”

“Okay, then I’ll bring yours over to your house after I drop some at the station. It’s the least I can do for all you guys.”

He eyes me suspiciously. “You don’t know where I live.”

“I’m a resourceful girl.” I shrug. “I’ll find out.”

He squints at me like if he looks hard enough, he’ll make all my puzzle pieces fit together. “How do I know you won’t lace them with other shit?”

I make a hand sign that’s meant to be Scout’s honor, but since I was never a scout, I’m pretty sure it just looks like I’m throwing up a gang sign. “You have my word and the honor of a lifetime Girl Scout.”

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