Page 43 of Ablaze

I give her a smile before pulling her arms off me gently. I pace over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “Not really, Jess. I mean, it’s fine right now since I have some downtime, but–”

Her head tilts defiantly. “Mala comes by all the time with cookies and coffee. I know because I’ve seen her pack them to carry over here. Do you tell her she shouldn’t be coming over?”

“She comes by to drop the packages off and leaves.”

“Well, maybe I oughta bring some baked goods with me next time!” Her Southern twang gets a little sharper with the last word, making it sound more like ‘tom’ than time. “Might be, I’d get a warmer welcome.”

I take a heavy breath, unscrewing the cap to my bottle.

Over the past year, Jessie and I have had our share of ups and downs. We even broke up for a month or two somewhere in the middle.

At first, our tiffs were about things like how much time I would spend with her–not enough, in her opinion–or how I never asked her to spend the night. But once she started coming around more, she decided it didn’t matter if I formally asked her to stay the night or not, because she’d do it, anyway. Our arguments then evolved to me not being vocal enough about my feelings.

Let’s not forget our arguments about Mala . . .

It’s not that I’m unaware of Jessie’s complicated feelings about Mala. I get that she feels threatened by her, or rather, my relationship with her. But I’ve been clear from day one–Mala will stay in my life, no matter what.

I know it’s a weird situation for Jessie, given she works for Mala and needs her job too, but she came into this knowing the landscape–that Mala was and would always be my best friend. Nothing in the fucking world will change that, not Jessie and certainly not Douchebag Warren.

“What’s going on, Jess? You seem . . .” Snippy. “On edge.”

Jessie closes her eyes, her shoulders slumping. “I need more money.”

I knew it. My gut told me she wouldn’t be here unless something was up, and I’m willing to bet I know why she needs more money again.

“It’s Luke–”

“For fuck’s sake,” I cut in, running a hand over my face.

Jessie closes the distance between us again, taking my face in her palms. The scent of her heavy perfume floats around my nose. “Sugar, listen, I know this is the third time I’m askin’ you to get him out of a bind, but he’s as broke as a stick horse and could use your help. He swore up and down this would be the last–”

I chuckle mirthlessly. “Listen to yourself, Jess. You’ve been bailing out your older brother for years. Years! And he’s not even remorseful about it. Instead of having any sort of savings yourself, you’ve spent it all on him. When are you going to realize this is going to be never-ending for you?”

“Dean, listen–”

I shake my head. “He isn’t going to change, Jessie. He tells you he will; he swears on everything holy, but then he goes right back to those shady-ass casinos and gambles more. You know why? Because the man has a problem, and he could give a rat’s ass who pays the price for his problem.”

“Dean, please.” Jessie’s brows rise, making her green eyes look like saucers. “Please, just this once more.”

I hate being the bad guy here, nor am I heartless. I get that kind of attachment–I’m plenty attached to my brothers–but instead of calling him out on his addiction and making him man up to solve his own problems, she continues to coddle him. And since she doesn’t have the money to save his ass because she’s spent most of it on his problem, she continues to come to me. And because I’ve lent the money–over three thousand dollars–twice in the past already, I’m also contributing to this vicious cycle.

When do I say enough is really enough?

I hate myself for even asking the next question. “How much this time?”

Jessie has enough decorum to at least look ashamed. “Thirty-two hundred.”

My mouth falls open. Does her brother think I’m fucking made of money? Or maybe it’s her. Everyone in their right goddamn mind knows my firefighter salary isn’t making me millions, so where does she get off thinking I have spare change like that lying around?

Do I? Yes. You know why? Because I’m damn good at saving, and because I’ve been smart about making some investments. Since I started receiving a regular paycheck with the fire department, I’ve dabbled a bit in the market and have done well over the years. I’ve also simply gotten lucky.

So yes, I can afford to have an almost-paid off house in the nice part of Tahoe, own my truck, and still have some spare change to visit my mom and Grams in Colorado when I want. But does that mean I’m living some lavish lifestyle? Hell no.

I close my mouth and shake my head again. “I’m sorry, Jess. I can’t help.”

Her hands drop to my biceps. “Sugar, please. Once more, and I promise I won’t ask again. He’s just in deep this time ‘round. He borrowed money from men who were like snakes in the grass and lost it all last week. Now, they’re threatenin’ to trim his tail feathers if he doesn’t pay, bless his heart.”

I run my hand over the back of my neck before looking up at the ceiling. Fuck. What should I do? If I say yes, I might be stuck in this same situation time and time again, given these are the same promises Jessie made me the last two times. If I say no, I’m being an asshole.

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