Page 30 of Of Kings and Thieves

Killian just looked at me, confirming my belief that I was to blame. My vision blurred, growing distant. “I can’t leave them like this, Killian.”

“I will bury them. You have no magic left, and are overwhelmed by grief. Close your eyes.”

His words drifted as if from a great distance. He tried to take the remains but I resisted, too weak to stop him for long.

“Rest a little. I’ll take care of them.”

I was supposed to do that, but I couldn’t hold on any longer. Darkness took me.

* * *

When I woke, Killian was lifting me to my feet. Slowly, painfully, I rose on shaking legs, swaying until he caught me.

“Hold tight,” he said, grasping my arm to steady me. “I’ll take you back to him.”

“How can I face him?” I had nothing to offer Col but failure. My family was gone, lost forever. The ache of it had torn me apart.

Killian donned his snarling silver mask again, readying to brave the Darkrift again. For a moment, distrust flickered through me, but I remembered he was a friend. I relinquished control, finding comfort in his guidance.

My body felt heavy, my thoughts sluggish as we left the ruins. On a small rise overlooking clear water were four freshly dug mounds, carved wooden markers at the head of each. Killian paused to let me take in the scene. I committed every detail to memory, never wanting to forget.

“Where did the grave markers come from?” The beautiful carved flowers and figures couldn’t have been randomly found. “You?”

“Magic takes,” he said, “but it can also give us permanent reminders of our love.”

I didn’t ask what Killian meant. I could barely speak, or wish to. As Killian led me back into the Darkrift, its horrors no longer frightened me—they paled beside the grief I now bore.

CHAPTER SEVEN

The wind whipped at my face as I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down at the frozen world below. But no cold could numb the agony raging inside me. My village was gone, my family brutally taken from this life. I was left with nothing but the broken remnants of everything I once held dear.

A choking sob escaped my throat. Memories flooded me—Da asking for water in that soft voice, little Laney’s joy whenever I came home. I had promised her I would come home.

I fell to my knees, tears freezing on my cheeks. How could the gods be so cruel as to rip everything away from me? I knew loss, but this was too much. My fingers clawed the hard, unforgiving ground. A scream of fury and despair tore from my lips.

It echoed off the icy cliffs and snow-heavy trees.

Vaguely, I was aware of Col, Killian, and Magnus speaking in hushed voices behind me. No doubt discussing how to handle me in this state. Killian had found Col and Magnus right after we left the Darkrift. But I could barely stand as he told them about my family. I had crawled away, unable to face them. I couldn’t now. Maybe not ever.

The emptiness before me threatened to swallow what little remained of my shattered spirit. It would be so easy to let myself tumble into oblivion, leave all this pain behind. The abyss called to me. End it, it whispered. Maybe I would have, if I could move at all.

But I had nothing left. No will, no power, no family.

I bent forward, pressing my forehead to the icy ground. Great sobs shook through me. The anguish pouring out of me was a palpable, living thing, raw in its intensity.

At last, I sensed Col approaching, felt his presence like a torch in the dark. He gathered me in his arms, his warmth seeping into my frozen skin. Nestled against his chest with the snow swirling around us, I wept as though the world were ending. For my world had ended.

Col held me without judgment as I released the depths of my grief. The steady beat of his heart and strength of his embrace were a lifeline, all that kept me from drifting too far into the dark. Here, just for this moment, I found comfort. And I clung to it desperately.

As the storm of weeping abated, shame and self-loathing rose to replace it. I had failed my family. If only I had returned home sooner instead of staying with Col, maybe I could have saved them.

I pushed away from him, stumbling to my feet. “This is your fault!” I lashed out, rounding on him. I wanted my words to hurt.

Col rose slowly, his hazel eyes full of compassion. But he said nothing, just looked at me with pity that I hated just then.

“If you hadn’t stopped me from going home, I would’ve been there to protect them! That fucking alicorn horn… all that wasted time… and now they’re dead!”

Col flinched but did not retaliate. His patience only fueled my anger. I wanted him to scream, to blame me too.

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