Page 30 of The Forever After Bet

“But—”

“Shh.” I try to calm her. “We can only go forward. We’ve both made mistakes in the past couple of weeks. I wish we could take them back, but we can’t. We have to accept it and move on. Just know that I never, for one millisecond, stopped loving you.”

“Me either. I felt tortured being near you and not being with you. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to get us to a good place again.” Hannah wraps her hands around my back, pressing close to me.

“Me too. Come on, let’s eat; and then we’ll talk.”

Hannah moves her leg, so she’s sitting across my lap, and then reaches over the table, grabbing my fork. “Is this okay?”

“It’s perfect.”

We both eat from Hannah’s plate. I try not to pay attention to how much she eats, but I can’t help it.

“This lemon pasta is so good. I love the flavors,” she says after her third bite.

“It’s my favorite. When I was little, and I’d stay with my grandparents in the summer, we’d order from Maxie’s a lot because I liked it so much.”

I take a sip of her drink. She takes a sip, then cringes. “I’ll never understand why you, Jack, and Ty like this stuff so well.”

“Because it’s pure goodness,” I tease. “They have a summer watermelon flavor I like.”

“Now that sounds great.” Hannah smiles. She takes several more bites, then puts her fork down. “I’m sorry, I can’t eat anymore. My stomach is hurting. I’m afraid if I take another bite, I’ll throw up, and I don’t want that.”

“Okay,” I say, rubbing a hand up and down her arm. “Why don’t we go sit in the family room area?”

“Are you still hungry? You can keep eating.”

“I’ll grab another soda and a slice of pizza.”

Hannah heads over to the sofa. I grab more food and then get me a soda and her a bottled water. When I sit down, she curls up next to me, laying her head on my shoulder and putting her leg over mine. We’re quiet for a while. I don’t think either of us knows what to say or where to start the conversation. When I’m done with my food, I lift Hannah over my legs so her back rests against the arm of the sofa.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask, gliding my fingers along her cheek and pushing her hair behind her ears.

Hannah fidgets with my shirt. “I was thinking about us living in this little apartment. I like it. It has a homey feel, like your grandparent’s house.”

I grasp her hand, entwining it with mine. “Hannah, why did you take off your rings?”

15. I Carry Your Heart with Me

Ford rubs his fingers along my bare left ring finger. My breath hitches, and the urge to cry bubbles up again. I push it down. I’ve cried enough today. It’s time to face things head on.

I take my free hand and grasp the long gold chain around my neck, sliding it out from under my shirt and hold it in my palm for Ford to see. He picks up the two rings, examines them, and then brushes his fingers over the heart and the number ten charms he gave me over the summer.

“You didn’t take them off,” he whispers.

“Never. They’re a way to carry a part of you with me. Do you remember the poem we talked about yesterday in English by E.E. Cummings, called I Carry Your Heart With Me (I Carry It in My Heart). That’s how I feel about these rings.”

“Hannah,” Ford breathes, pulling me to him and burying his head in my neck, kissing my favorite spot. He glides his lips up my neck and presses his mouth to mine. I groan at the feeling. I’ve missed his kisses.

“Keeping these rings close to my heart has been a way to keep you close to me. I’m sorry. Seeing me without them must have been hard. I can’t imagine what you felt, and then I made you sit next to Violet Richland for the rest of the period. I regret that so much.”

Ford blows out a breath. “It hurt, but I wasn’t mad. I took mine off too.”

“I was afraid my parents would see the wedding band and ask me about it. I was barely functioning, and I knew if they asked about it, I’d come apart. Leah helped me take the rings off. It was traumatic. I—”

“It’s okay. If it’s too hard, you don’t have to talk about it,” Ford says, rubbing a soothing hand down my back.

“I want to tell you. You need to understand that taking these rings off my finger broke me. I thought I’d ruined my chances of being with you. I only had your promise to cling to. I hoped and prayed that when graduation was over and I went to the meadow, that you’d be there. Your promise is what kept me upright and moving the first few days after—after everything happened.”

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