Page 4 of Cowboy

“That’s right, baby,” she said, kissing her granddaughter’s cheek. “Go pack your things. All of them. You’ll be movin’ in with me. Besides, I’m in the country where city folks won’t bother us. We can get that dog you always wanted.” Autumn smiled at the old woman, kissing her cheek.

“It’s okay, Grandma. I don’t need a dog. You’re enough.”

Clarice Zeller felt the stab of pain in her chest, realizing just how much her granddaughter knew and understood. Standing on the front lawn, she took several deep breaths, then went into the dirty house. She wanted to scream to the heavens. It was so filthy.

Her daughter-in-law had never been much of a housekeeper. She hoped all that would change when Autumn was born. It didn’t. Grabbing an extra box from the kitchen, she packed up any food that was still edible and took it to the car, then went back inside to help Autumn pack her things.

Five hours later, they were sitting on her front porch. Strathmore, California, population twenty-eight hundred, give or take, was a quiet rural community. Clarice and her husband bought the patch of land just before he shipped off to Vietnam. It had plenty of room for horses and chickens. Five months pregnant when he left, she had a baby in her arms when she got word that he’d been killed.

Raising her son alone wasn’t easy, but she thought she’d done everything right. That is until he met Astra. Astra. What the hell kind of name was that? She remembered asking him that question, but he ignored her. In fact, he’d become good at ignoring her.

Frances and Astra got married, moved to the coast, and Clarice didn’t see them much. Until Autumn was born. Then they wanted to see her all the time. Mostly to leave Autumn with her, but Clarice didn’t care. She was her whole world.

“They’re not coming back this time,” said Autumn.

“No, I don’t think they are.”

“They said they won a bunch of money on the roulette tables,” smirked Autumn. “I think it’s bullshit. They sold the damn car.”

“Don’t curse. It’s not ladylike.”

“You curse,” she laughed.

“I’m not a lady,” said Clarice. She handed her granddaughter the envelope filled with cash.

“What’s this?”

“Your dad gave it to me. I expect it belongs to you. I don’t need it.”

“Grandma, this is a lot of money. We need this,” she said, trying to hand it back to the old woman. Her grandmother just shook her head.

“Nope. You keep it. Start a college fund or something. We’re just fine.”

They were both quiet for a long time. As the sun set over the hills, the porch light came on automatically. The stars were so bright and clear it made Autumn smile.

“Grandma, do you believe in UFOs?” she asked. Clarice grinned at her granddaughter.

“I think we’d be mighty stupid to think we’re the only things alive in this whole big universe. I don’t know if it’s UFOs, or aliens, or what, but I believe there’s something else out there.”

They were silent for a long while, the crickets and frogs croaking their approval of the quiet night. Tomorrow, they’d have to enroll her in a new school. Again. She’d have to introduce herself to people she didn’t care about and pretend that she was interested in fancy dresses and parties.

Girls at her other school were already kissing boys, even sticking their tongues in their mouths. Gross! She just wanted to pass her tests, read as many books as she could carry home from the library, and be with her grandmother.

“Grandma? Did they ever love me?” she asked quietly. Clarice stopped her rocking and stared at her granddaughter. She was a woman who was brutally honest in every way. No reason to change now.

“I’m not sure they know how to love anyone other than themselves, honey. I just don’t think they understood what being a parent was all about. It had nothing to do with you.”

“It feels like it does,” she whispered.

“Well, it ain’t. You’re a smart, tough, beautiful girl. You can do anything you want. Anything!”

Clarice didn’t realize how much she would regret those words later in life. Of all the foolish ideas to come into her granddaughter’s head.

“A pilot? Why in the hell do you want to be a pilot?” she screeched.

“Grandma, I have my college degree, and now, I want to take flying lessons. I’ve been saving, and I think I can afford a small plane. I could transport people over the mountains to the local resorts and maybe even all the way to Vegas.”

“I don’t know, Autumn,” frowned her grandmother. “It’s not natural.” Autumn laughed at the older woman.

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